Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
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Top comments
Darling_Cherry 5
Hilarious. That'll teach you to make yourself useful!
Calaura9 0
You sound like a sweet guy. I love sweet innocent guys... mmmmmm....
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Comments (96)
I_iz_epic 0
At least you tried to be helpful.
Fuz_fml 0
hey, classic example of why i think senior citizens might as well be euthanized
hisrose01 6
wow you are one screwed up person
still_lovedrunk 0
aww.. that's y ppl need 2 learn 2 say names if they're talkin abt som1 they no
StealthStorm67 0
Can you not type like an Autistic child please? I mean I know its the internet but thats barely even legible.
22jrdn55 15
i hate ppl who always complain abt others writin and grammer STOP COMPLAINING #58
StealthStorm67 0
wtf? I hate grammar nazis too, but when yuuu tYp3 LiIk DiS, it gets old really fast.
RustyGuy 0
There is a difference between flawed writing / grammar and pure absurdity. Please, for the sake of us all take a basic writing class or at least get a browser that supports spell check.
22jrdn55 15
#62 it never gets old So StOp CoMpLaiNiNg #63 ThErE Is No DiFfeReNcE So U 2 StOp
leahlovesya121 0
Wowwwww. Just learn how to spell, okay? And it gets REALLY annoying when you TyPe LiKe ThIs...
mo_the_owl 0
once again 22jrdn shows us all the result of today's education system..
22jrdn55 15
I DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, CARE nOw sToP HaTiNg PpL!!
GJMO 0
no need to insult autistic childlen to make your point
mina_8 0
58. It's very annoying, yes, but the fact that people think it's cool to typ lyke dis doesn't have anything to do with autism.
StealthStorm67 0
I'm sorry. I wasn't aware of the ammount of Spokes-people for Autism in here. Also I'm sorry for saying "retarded". And Also for cursing, as it may have appauled people who take serious offense to what others have to say on the internet.
hisrose01 6
My AUTISTIC CHILD types perfectly Thank you very much.
22jrdn55 15
well where is it?
SeekayofRome 0
"An old women." Hehe.
xtatik 0
YDI for stalking old women from behind LOL :)
xtatik 0
YDI for stalking old women from behind LOL :)
anonymousabcd 0
I agree.. people who type like that is REALLY annoying. It takes way more time than just typing normally. I don't get it. Please stop. And that seriously sucks.. thanks for being a good citizen though. ;]
anonymousabcd 0
Haha calm the hack down. I never said i hated them. I said they're annoying. So get over it.
Subjectzero 0
the hell made you think that a stranger would be talking to you? always confirm someone is talki g to you before you do anything.