Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind me she called, "Can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her unload bags. She began hitting me, screaming, "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was going into a store and saw a woman roughly handling a screaming toddler. I kept walking, until I heard the kid scream, "Help! You’re not my mommy!” I called 911 and stood behind the car to keep her from taking off. The cops arrived to see me fending off blows from a very pissed off grandma. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
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Top comments
Darling_Cherry 5
Hilarious. That'll teach you to make yourself useful!
Calaura9 0
You sound like a sweet guy. I love sweet innocent guys... mmmmmm....
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Comments (96)
Darling_Cherry 5
Hilarious. That'll teach you to make yourself useful!
iflylo01 0
very witty comment, i love it.
FenderYK 0
That reminds me of the time I saw Spy-Kids 3D. I was really excited to see it, but then at the ticket counter I realized I forgot my wallet in the car. So I ran into the car, got my ticket and watched Spy Kids :)
timtam24 0
wth?
LewJH 0
HAHAH.
jennayyycx3 0
ahhahahaha
22jrdn55 15
# 24 how is this even related?
michael32123 0
#24 is an epic win
Sista92359 24
I don't get it
joHnnycsU 0
Did she even look at you?
Calaura9 0
You sound like a sweet guy. I love sweet innocent guys... mmmmmm....
foXiekatt 0
i agreee, very sweet & gentleman of u.
angel55033 12
throwing yourself at a guy for his fml , lol wow
ArbiterOfFML 24
well this thread is ******.
scifi 0
Shoulda made eye contact. But didn't she notice you were putting the stuff in her car?
caticaticati 3
It says she asked for whoever to help take groceries OUT of the car, unless it was a typo and OP meant cart. Or if I missed the 't' the few times I reread it.
GreenAlbatross 3
At least there are some gentlemen left in the world. Even if her son isn't one of them.
maplebaby 0
I agree, gentlemen these days are few and far between...she should have been a little more understanding.
itschris 0
6th!! lOl sikee fyl tho
Casualt1234 0
dun dun dun... the plot thickens!
redbluegreen 41
Well certainly you CAN but COULD you? (;
Scorpitarrius 0
If you ride away from this scenario in a police cruiser, now THAT is a true FML. That still sucks though.
Player_Three 2
No good deed is left unpunished...