Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus to the gym. I saw that an old woman needed help to get off the bus, so I got up, and helped her off. When I had finally got her down the stairs the bus closed the doors and drove away. I was in the middle of nowhere and the bus drove away with all my things. FML
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
If I ever meet OP, I'm going to proceed to punch him in the left nut for using "proceeded" twice. It's redundant, excessive, extra, superfluous, unnecessary, unneeded, and redundant. And it makes you sound like an asshat.
bethan1 4
No good deed goes unpunished, op.
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Comments (75)
StephWALKER 17
um lol even tho it sucks
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
she was probably one of the newest threats to society, we call them granny snatches or GS. they use their feebleness to lull unsuspecting victims in and either kill them or rob them. usually GS's report to an alpha male nicknamed "the gramps" who oversees the whole operation.
cwhitney11 4
Hahah ^^win^^ but damn granny kicked ur ass op never trust old people, they use their frail bodies for golf, making cookies, and SHEER EVIL!!! :0
_TONGAN_ 5
yeah I don't think she stole your wallet OP...I think you were too quick to judge. you probably dropped it somewhere long before this even happened.
Rawket_Lawnchair 0
Just another example of how old people are the scourge of humanity.
beccusmaximus 0
29- This actually is a very common occurrence. Just keep in mind that women who are elderly now came from a generation where women didn't work and relied on their husbands. And when ole hubby passes away, I guess that leaves a lot of grannies strapped for cash.
morgan320 0
so this is why my grandma is so rich?
fakeaccountX 6
Consider it a donation to the elderly.
iRun4Rice 0
no that bitch needs to give you back your wallet.
YouCantBreakMe 9
Damn. Just damn.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
glee = worst. show. ever.
HollyoaksFan93 9
Family Guy = Worst. Show. Ever
BethiiGeex 0
15! Family guy is amazing :O
yusaku02 20
#15 you really think jersey shore or the oc are better than family guy? you're f-ed up...
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
"their songs" you mean taking credit from people who are actually talented and wrote and sung the originals....
suppressed08 2
Both have their downsides. Glee makes watchers assume they wrote their own music, and Family Guy (to me) seems like a shit combination of the Simpsons and Southpark.
DudeImBetter 0
futurama is the dopest and best.
EffinAhole 0
Family Guy is AWESOME! My wife loves Glee but I don't watch it with her so I can't really judge. Seems like a chick show to me.
YouCantBreakMe 9
I like family guy, but I absolutely love glee. Their covers are good. Have you ever even watched glee? Because most people who actually watch it, like it.
HollyoaksFan93 9
Ive never seen Jersey Shore or The Oc but from what Ive seen of Family Guy it seems bad but thats just my opinion just like Glee being bad was his opinion. I have different tastes in TV programs then anyone else so...
etanman 5
everyone has their own opinion but urs is just stupid
HollyoaksFan93 9
@53 **** You! Your an idiot for thinking my opinion is stupid!
tortise34 4
well at least you helped her cross the street...but this fml seems familiar 2 another one just like this.
Mischief109 11
That's what I was thinking
lydever91 0
Ouch..not even a "thank you, sonny" or a badge for boy/girl scouts earned
docscientist 10
Maybe it fell out of your pants. It seems less likely a 70 year old who fell in the middle of the street has the agility and dexterity to pick pocket you.
marmlr339 14
the old lady probably faked it all...
jocelyng_fml 0
or the old lady was madea...
docscientist 10
I doubt it. Op just wanted an fml to post, and an old lady out maneuvering him sounded mire interesting than simply losing the wallet.
docscientist 10
*more
KittyMack 13
There's NO reason to assume a senior is honest, any more than a young person! I think a 50 or 60yr-old (especially one that's weathered from hard living) could fake their way into looking older and more fragile than they are in order to pull a con. And the stumble IS the pickpocket's favourite move. As another poster already said: criminals don't magically become nice just because they get old.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Don't be so naive docscientist. Also, quit acting like you know all... There's no reason to ruin the FML for everyone.
beachblondeex13 0
i feel like iv read this fml before
bamagrl410 31
Same thing I was thinking. Pretty recently too.
dogiestyle123 0
Beachblondeex13 I read your profile thing I don't understand that & thing you have going on there lol idk and idk how to message on this thing I feel slow with FML
cheezyfries50 0
baha! even if it was fake it still sounds like my granny
Bayji_Gunner 0
How do you know she was 70? Do you work at an amusement park guessing people's ages? By the way you weren't robbed.
WallyTheWombat 0
1. to take something from (someone) by unlawful force or threat of violence; steal from. Robbed defined by dictionary.com I think taking someone's wallet out of their pocket without their knowledge or consent falls under the "steal from" section of the definition. So yes, he was robbed.
Bayji_Gunner 0
Wow dictionary.com. To "steal from" is not the only element of a robbery, it must involve either the use of force or threat of violence. You're thinking about larceny where neither force nor the threat of force has to be present.
Bayji_Gunner 0
Wow dictionary.com. To "steal from" is not the only element of a robbery, it must involve either the use of force or threat of violence. You're thinking about larceny where neither force nor the threat of force has to be present.
Gloritank 8
If the item is on you I believe it's robbery while if it isn't it is theft.
ajfraser 3
wow you are all too serious
Bayji_Gunner 0
Well Gloritank, just because you believe it does not make it true. You are in fact wrong.
Phyre24 17
Holy crap stfu about it.I believe the others are right, no need to get technical.
sasonzal 4
why say proceeded twice?it's gay enugh to say it uncalled once
BloodyHeel 8
It is so overused on this site. It pains me to have to read it.
bethan1 4
No good deed goes unpunished, op.
DocBastard 40
If I ever meet OP, I'm going to proceed to punch him in the left nut for using "proceeded" twice. It's redundant, excessive, extra, superfluous, unnecessary, unneeded, and redundant. And it makes you sound like an asshat.
LaL26 4
lol ! anyway I respect de nanny :) so FYL but don't stop helping nannies ! ;) what goes round, comes round !
Schizomaniac 24
Hey! You said redundant twic-oh...wait. You're funny!