Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML
Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML
Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML
Today, my 3-year-old pooped on the floor and blamed it on the dog. How do I know? We don't have a dog. FML
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML
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Top comments
xaru 21
Shit on them both to show dominance
coolmike699 26
You gotta get this under control before this game of battleshits escalates into a poopstorm of epic magniturd.
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Comments (21)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Time to break out the parental discipline card. For a three-year-old, put him in a time out or something, and if it continues, start taking toys away or something. It's time to take more measures if just scolding him isn't working.
wrwrestler9 5
Or she could, you know, spank him. But yes, taking toys away or preferably sitting him in time out is better than nothing. However, taking just one of his toys away really isn't even a punishment- to be honest- the kid will laugh and smirk at you behind your back. He will think "really? that's all you're gonna do to me for directly defying you? Good luck lady! I will just be a bigger brat tomorrow!" Trust me I WAS A KID, I know for a fact, I remember, I didn't respect when my parents gave me weak punishments. But when my dad calmly told me to go to the bathroom, I knew I was gonna get spanked, and that set the fear of God into me. I grew up right, and now I make $200,000+ a year and have a clean record and a happy life and a hot girlfriend.
wrwrestler9 5
Women are naturally compassionate; men are naturally logical and dominant. This is the ultimate problem with single mothers, (which I can tell you most likely are), and this is why 11 out of the 12 past mass shooters have been raised by single mothers. Single mothers are not very good at punishing their children. They are too compassionate; too forgiving; too WEAK. They do not logically understand the limits of their children. They don't punish children enough. Having a 2 hour back-and-forth discussion with a 3 year old child on why he should not do something, is ridiculous and unacceptable. Children at that age are in what psychologists called the "hedonistic stage"; they do not understand right and wrong, except in an extremely limited sense, mainly determined by what benefits them or what causes them pain/discomfort/annoyance/inconvenience. Also, talking to them in a dialogue makes them feel equal to you in terms of knowledge/wisdom/input. They are NOT equal to you in those terms. They, as a human being, sure, are of equal worth- but YOU ARE THEIR *ELDER*. More importantly, you are their PARENT. What that means is, they not only SHOULD listen to you, they are OBLIGATED to listen to you and OBEY you. They are not to question you. It is to be understood you are wise and they are not, they are a child and you are the adult. Period. What should have happened is this: When your child said they wanted to poop on their younger brother, you should have said "No, you cannot poop on your younger brother. That is wrong. Your younger brother did not mean to poop on you, and he is way too young to know better. If you poop on him, you will be punished." If the 3 year old still did it anyway, you should have said "Go to the bathroom and wait there." Then you should have walked in and spanked him, and when he cried, you should have said "Why are you crying? I TOLD YOU that you would be punished. Why didn't you believe me or show me respect? Don't do it again."
IHaveThePower 18
Spanking kids doesn't do anything except make them think hitting is how you solve problems. At three, the kid isn't 'in a hedonistic stage', he's just a toddler being an idiot--you just keep him away from the baby for a while until he forgets about poop. (Takes some time, but you're the adult, it's your job to be patient.) Logical consequences and positive discipline work better than authoritarianism.
wrwrestler9 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
(To continue) When punishing or spanking your child, you should never raise your voice much- you should be calm in inflicting punishment. When you show anger, or raise your voice, that shows malice and also shows a loss of control. When a parent is calm... that is when a child has the most righteous fear of the parent. As a kid, I remember, I was most concerned when my dad calmly punished me. I knew I had f*cked up. Right before spanking your child, you should calmly say "Go to the bathroom and wait there" and have them wait 5 to 10 minutes to "think about what they did". Then when you walk in the bathroom, you say "You understand why I am having to spank you right? Because you disobeyed me when I told you something. You did it on purpose. If you don't want to be spanked in the future, then please do not disobey me anymore. It hurts me to spank you. It hurts me more than it hurts you. But, if I don't spank you, you won't grow up right. You need to learn how to behave and eventually become a good adult." The kid may or may not understand all of this, but hey, might as well say it anyway. Then spank the kid. Give them 8-10 good whacks on the butt, with open hand or a paddle or a belt. Vary it up. I make over $200,000 a year and have a clean record and am very happy, with a girlfriend right now, and I'm only 25 years old. Guess what? My parents were married most of my childhood, and my dad spanked me growing up. In fact, my most troublesome years were when I was only with one parent, or when my parents divorced. If you had gotten married before having a child, as you should have (birth control is a thing, so what's your excuse?) Then you wouldn't be in this problem. If you wanna be with a guy, and have children, then have the SELF CONFIDENCE to TELL HIM YOUR FEELINGS, and ask him to get married with you! If he wont do it, then dont be retarded enough to still have his baby!
PansaSage 2
I know a simple solution. Control your god damn kid.
leo1106 15
Eye for eye, right? Sorry, OP. This is a hell of a story to tell though.
Manual_Manoosy 21
Maybe try putting a diaper on the four-month old.
sallygee 9
I dont know why you would waste your time trying to convince a little kid of anything. 2 hours??? that seems quite excessive.
randybryant799 21
You don't spend hours explaining to a 3 year old. I should think that by now you've taught him what no means??