Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
Today, I was doing a big presentation at work and got nervous. My white shirt showed massive sweat stains in the most unfortunate places, including my lower stomach, making it look like I had peed myself standing up. FML
Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML
Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML
Today, I went to a job interview and, trying to sound confident, I shook the interviewer’s hand and said, "Nice to meet me." I didn’t get the job. FML
Today, I went to a job interview and, feeling nervous, accidentally knocked over the interviewer's Mountain Dew. Trying to recover, I blurted out, "Don't worry, I'm used to cleaning up messes." The awkward silence that followed made it clear I wouldn't be cleaning up anything in their office. FML
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
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Top comments
Fluffydemise 18
And you got a promotion, right?
emmingle 24
uh-oh. he wasn't too hard on you, was he?
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Comments (85)
Fluffydemise 18
And you got a promotion, right?
DDCA 24
Indeed.
_GoodGuy 11
As the office ****, that's her promotion.
Olympiakos10 15
That's when I jizzed...on my hands
xXNerrrdXx 16
@23..still hella embarrassing if it was a girl xD could be taken as a bribe-flirt
tjv3 10
Well that's one way to get promoted
username53001 7
It looks like you need a helping hand...
Justice_Beaver 13
What's up with this site and puns?
Axipiter 24
It's fun to pun! And sublime to rhyme!
nattynatters 14
Just correct yourself. He'll think you're more weird if you say wet than if you said what you meant.
Olympiakos10 15
Aww, you made me ink!
summerguy97 16
Even clarifying things won't fix your mad lust for him.
Jac_d_ipper 10
Whatever made you think that
summerguy97 16
Just the fact that he was in quite a...slippery situation.
emmingle 24
uh-oh. he wasn't too hard on you, was he?
OnlyAvailableID 28
Let's also hope he didn't have a hard on for you.
DDCA 24
#13: Thank you, Captain obvious. Here, I bought you a clue.
Jemm_fml 29
Augh, the clueless ones always ruin it.
kittenmeownyan 18
Hopefully the reviewer just brushed it off and graded your performance fairly
green2go 14
Hopefully not to wet
Jeffo193 13
*too. Homophones. Learnt them age six.
Ovajosh 1
He'd probably just laugh if you explained yourself, don't worry
TheShadyMilkman 15
Lubrication provided free of charge...
perdix 31
With a pick-up line like that, I'm sure he'll want to do an in-depth follow-up review of your performance.
TheShadyMilkman 15
I don't know about in depth, but I am certain an oral interview will take place...
perdix 31
#19, I'm thinking the nature of the review will be determined after he asks some probing questions. You don't get to be regional manager with poor decision-making skills :D
dalink 24
What about a practical? Or skills assessment? It's entirely necessary.
TheShadyMilkman 15
Lets just hope the answers don slip out of their grasp...
RedPillSucks 33
He'll want the blow by blow details.