Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
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Top comments
pjsr 33
Sounds like a good pitch for Shark Tank: "Sharks, do you ever get tired of buying expensive dough for your kids, only to have it dry out and then have to buy more. Here's an all-natural product at half the price: Poo-Dough"
RichardPencil 32
The good news is you can cut your Play-Doh budget. Shit is organic, local, all-natural and has no artificial colors or preservatives. Sound like a ... wait for it ... win-win situation. Flirting with danger, aren’t I, Nina?
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Comments (5)
pjsr 33
Sounds like a good pitch for Shark Tank: "Sharks, do you ever get tired of buying expensive dough for your kids, only to have it dry out and then have to buy more. Here's an all-natural product at half the price: Poo-Dough"
RichardPencil 32
The good news is you can cut your Play-Doh budget. Shit is organic, local, all-natural and has no artificial colors or preservatives. Sound like a ... wait for it ... win-win situation. Flirting with danger, aren’t I, Nina?
Nina 34
I admit, I was worried for a second...
Glowworm56 27
At least we know he has a knack for problem solving.