Today, something in my shoe was bothering me at work. After about 30 minutes, I finally had a chance to fix it. There was a squashed lizard in my shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work that I'd bought yesterday. Around lunchtime, I finally realised that one shoe felt slightly tighter than the other. I took it off and found some paper stuffing still inside. I'd spent five hours walking around with it. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work and spent the entire day hobbling around in discomfort. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had forgotten to take remnants of the packing foam out of the tips of the shoes. FML
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
Today, a lizard got caught in some loose duct tape in my office. A perk of working alone, I get to clean up. Lizards scare the Bejeezus out of me. FML
Today, I wore my new shoes to work, feeling confident. Halfway through the day, I found out that I'd forgotten to remove a giant price sticker on the left sole. My boss pointed it out during a meeting, as I crossed my legs. FML
Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML
Today, I was feeling stressed about some upcoming exams, so I went on a nice relaxing nature walk through the nearby bushland. I slipped off a rock and landed in knee-deep mud that claimed my shoe when I pulled my leg free. I'm even more stressed now. FML
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
WCARlover 35
Dude, it was just trying to save you money on car insurance
Colon_Man 17
As someone who put his shoe on and found a mouse - I feel ya, brah.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (16)
WCARlover 35
Dude, it was just trying to save you money on car insurance
Cali 57
Poor little guy.
Cynical_1 26
I hope it wasn't the GEICO gecko, I love that little guy!
Konarika 11
Australia. Why am I not surprised?
species4872 20
Just wait until it's mother comes looking.
species4872 20
Hang on a minute, Perth.... I suppose it's still Australia to the rest of ya.
Sheepiebeepie 26
To the rest of us? All it says is Australia - Western Australia what else could we believe it to be?
Konarika 11
Australia. Why am I not surprised?
darshini_ii 24
Did you apologize to it? You most likely squashed it when it was taking a casual snooze.
Colon_Man 17
As someone who put his shoe on and found a mouse - I feel ya, brah.
morningmonster 18
'stralia, mate
species4872 20
Lenny the leaping lizard will leap no more.
vegantreegirl 26
Sadly, I can one up this. My husband and I had smelled something weird in our bedroom. We searched high and low and cleaned extra good. Opened windows to air it out, but nothing. Finally we figured out the dog bed was stinky. I went to wash it and a moldy dead lizard fell out from between the cushions. :( My guess is my naughty cat killed it and stashed it in the dog's bed (the dog in my profile picture.) So gross. I washed that dog bed really well.
Bearsmomma 30
Rhodesian Ridgeback? We have a female "slickback". Beautiful.
Allie614032 34
This is more of an 'F the lizard's life'.
Demon_of_Light 27
His significantly shortened life :(