Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML
Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML
Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his Facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML
Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML
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Top comments
Cads1 24
Wow, crazy much?
MattStro 23
Somebodies a little impatient.
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Comments (99)
Iwannarock1 19
He sounds nice.
AletheDefender 15
He was a douche anyway
Tyguy823 14
Good idea in that one
LadyLuck93 20
Definitely a physco path.. better off single for now.
a1_z9 10
For future reference, 'psychopath' is one word! Although the mental image of a psychotic path did make me giggle.
worldclassrager 41
You better reply...just say sorry I am sure he'll understand
leogachi 15
Your joke was bad and you should feel bad.
snazzymcwho 21
Dodged a bullet!
lizee1998 13
It's called paranoia you need to be more understanding
Spark_Slicker 19
I hope you're joking.
Aimeejasmine 15
No no... No, not paranoia. It's blunt anger, and having no respect for OP
MrThump 16
Text back saying your phone was on silent and to chill out. Also let him no calling you **** wasn't very flattering and he better make it up to you big time before he gets to see you ever again.
MandieL 27
If he's gonna call her a **** and get all angry because she didn't text him back for a few hours while she was sleeping, I don't think it would be smart to give him a second chance. He sounds controlling and obsessive which can very well lead to abusive. Especially when he doesn't mind showing his true colors so soon.
MrThump 16
Yes I see your point, text him back and say "**** off, don't call me **** you ****"
WOTAN1488 24
Good idea.
nomrana 14
Save by the "silent" ring