Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML
Today, I went to sleep at 7am. I learned once that Indians used to drink tons of water before bed to force themselves awake so I did that in case my alarm (which I hooked up to my speakers) didn't work. The alarm worked, but the shock of the blasting sound made me pee my pants. FML
Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML
Today, my water pills are almost identical to my sleeping pills, so not only did I not get any sleep, I had to get up every 15-30 minutes to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML
Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
MPee3 player did you say?
Olympiakos10 15
I guess those weren't the wet dreams you were hoping for.
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Comments (65)
Pleonasm 36
MPee3 player did you say?
ManInTheMachine 20
Should've used an iPood.
Pleonasm 36
And listened to Skrill-excrement
Wizardo 34
This one time yellow beats brown hands down. Would rather have a Wankman anyway.
DividableByZero 11
Pleonasm, you've done it again!
TheCanucklehead 22
Was it black and yellow?
mvc3ftw 17
But then he would have reeked of deadmau5
23murray 1
well played XD
johnrdz3 24
She took the phrase "piss off" a little too seriously
chinchilla417 12
I would be pissed off too
K410 18
Lets be honest we all saw this coming once she said rain mp3 to help her sleep :p
shellykjelly 26
Well... It's better to be pissed of than pissed on!
AnOriginalName 19
31, unfortunately it sounds like OP was both pissed off and pissed on. Schrodinger's piss, perhaps?
cottoncandymango 17
Unpeelievable!
Storvolleng 28
looks like the rain has flooded the streets.
SnowboardingLife 6
talk about a piss poor situation...
Olympiakos10 15
I guess those weren't the wet dreams you were hoping for.
Wizardo 34
A trickle turns into a flood... or in this case a yellow stream into a puddle.
Fedezzer 20
Why did THIS get fml hate?
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
The world may never know
Roughlife28 7
So if there was thunder, what would have happened?
Poppipuff 14
And if it was raining men ?
Jiplo 18
F*** you thunder, you can suck my dick, you can't scare me cause you're just God's farts! *pffft*
amDes 11
Thunder Buddies!!
zahra_786 19
Well on the bright side..you found a good solution to help your insomnia! Just pee before sleeping next time :D
natheitz 23
Next time, try sounds from the desert