Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, my husband woke me up by sending me a picture of a guy I used to semi-see. The same night my boyfriend sent me a furious text asking why I didn’t tell him I’m married, because my husband has found his Instagram and was harassing him online. Like, leave me alone. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML
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Top comments
Ilovelife07 0
send her back a picture of your middle finger
angelxcollins 0
At least he wasn't your current boyfriend and you were finding out he got married while he was dating you. :P
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Comments (98)
angelxcollins 0
At least he wasn't your current boyfriend and you were finding out he got married while he was dating you. :P
michaelscot23 0
at least she isn't your mother in law
pertained 12
that.is.true.
Ilovelife07 0
send her back a picture of your middle finger
666midnight 0
Agree with #1 it could of been as bad as that But seriously just ignore it, she wants a reaction so don't give it to her. Piss her off by ignoring her (:
amknmaz 0
im single to, by choice, **** the restraining order bitch
Jaywin 3
Bang a new dude every night and take a vid of each encounter. Send them to her and your ex-bf to remind your ex-bf you can still go out and have sex with whoever you want and to show your ex-bf's mom that you're a hottie while she's old and unwanted.
binger_gitch 12
But then she would seem like a bit of a ***** don't you think?
jm88 0
FMLs suck lately. I want juicier FMLs. I wanna think "Ooooohh. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" when I'm reading these, people!
Poison93_fml 0
how long ago did you break up?
AngelRaven89 0
That seems like your ex got married not long after breaking up with you if your ex-mom still has your number. Speedy mairrages usually don't last so you can be happy about that. Just be glad you arrn't the one stuck with a crazy mother in law :)
kelther 0
"still single"? like we're all supposed to just become "not single" at some point in our lives... pft
couragewolf9001 0
So what? You're pathetic for caring that much.