Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML
Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML
Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his Facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML
Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML
Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML
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Top comments
Cads1 24
Wow, crazy much?
MattStro 23
Somebodies a little impatient.
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Comments (99)
Cads1 24
Wow, crazy much?
StiffPvtParts 43
OP dodged a bullet there ñ_ñ
SierraaaNicoleee 26
Good idea! Get out before it's too late.
MattStro 23
Somebodies a little impatient.
Dick_diamond 22
Somebody is*
laden_swallow09 35
Thursty, too!
Fiorella1 19
Yup, just a little. ??
rocketiquette 20
Never understood how this tactic worked for guys, rather, how they thought it would work well for them. It's happened to me a few times! Needless to say you kind of just want to sucker punch them in the throat for being such insecure pansies.
myeverydaymylife 21
Looks like you've saved yourself time and strife.
ona16 22
I think avoid at all costs applies here :| Lets hope texting is as far as this goes.
karcummings 19
obsessive..
shellzy 20
Bye Felipe!!
leogachi 15
Is this a thing? This should be a thing.
teentee401 37
It is a thing. Look up the account bye Felipe on Instagram.
tantanpanda 26
Is bye, Felipe the male counterpart of bye, Felicia?
danceinconverse 25
Bye Felipe came first, so yes.
olillia 16
But "bye, Felicia" is a quote from the movie "Friday"... It's really old actually. Teenagers just started saying it not knowing where it's from
NathanSchmitz988 7
Keep their heads ringing.
connaughty0225 16
Well that escalated quickly.
Exaspera 55
"Lord of the Flies" comes to mind. Quick! Hide the sharp objects!
AnOriginalName 19
You keep referencing that book. I don't think that book means what you think it means.
mikeman1744 18
Run fast....run far