Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML
Today, I came home and walked into my living room to see my roommate passed out naked, porn autoplaying on the living room TV, a killed 12-case of beer, and dried jizz all over the couch from God knows how many loads. “I thought you were coming home tomorrow,” he said. At least the sofa is leather. FML
Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML
Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML
Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML
Today, I woke up on the couch in front of the television covered with a blanket. Last night, I'd come home pissed from the pub, fired up porn, got my pants off and settled down for a wank. However, this morning the telly was off, my trousers were on, and I don't remember a blanket. I live with my mom. FML
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Top comments
Tenantry 0
I never new that many people eat food naked till I started reading FML.
waywardson 0
Who watches **** on a bar stool?
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Comments (90)
maddog_fml 0
Eating lunch, naked and watching ****?? Hahaha!! You ******* deserved that one! #2 : Yeah, wait till his roommate drops some pictures on the WWW!
pmole42088 0
Ya go in your room close the door and go nuts, Shit u prob can ******* cook a whole meal and watch a marathon of **** naked and not have to worry.
NinjaToaster 0
Why were you watching **** while eating lunch? And why were you eating lunch while naked?
BradleyF81 0
Hey, there's nothing wrong with eating while watching ****, and why not do it naked? When I lived alone I would wander around the house naked all the time. Why not? Saves on laundry at least.
Dylan94_fml 8
exactly there's nothing wrong with it, I do it all the time when I know noones gonna be home for a while
suckerz 0
how come people on FML pass out so easily??? and # 14: I walk around naked all the time too... =)
Jurlique 0
#9, EXACTLY!
Acerbitas 0
#8 and 9. hit it dead on :p
RPGod 0
Lock the door. When I'm naked, I lock mine
rebboy_2008 0
So you were eating lunch and watching ****... while naked? I fail to believe that. I think you were eating lunch, jacking off to **** when your roommate came home. Two things: jack it in your room and don't jack and eat at the same time. That's just gross.
bec_fml 0
hahahhahahahhahahha loveit.