Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML
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Top comments
_GoodGuy 11
Can't wait to reach old age, I can do anything I want ;)
crazytwinsmom 25
I would think he'd be able to feed himself if he can whack off.
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Comments (122)
Mackay92 14
Maybe he has a food fetish and he was at the point of no return when you brought his food
JohnTheLad 13
Icy-Hot
aujini 4
I'm a CNA and yes, if they can do that they can still not be able to feed themselves because they may have issues swallowing, or even need to be cued to eat, because with severe dementia they can forget how to eat food and even swallow. I'm assuming op is also a CNA, in which case they should be more mature about this. Legally, hospitals and homes are required to provide privacy for residents for their sexual needs, and yes, to pretend not to notice to but to move them somewhere else that is not in front of other residents if they were in a dining hall. Its called human rights. Residents also don't have to eat exactly when meals come, so what the op should have done is asked the resident if they'd like some privacy and move them back to their room, and then feed them later after they're done. TL;DR op needs to have more compassion.
Tonka2203 7
wow, i can't believe that policy... i would probably smack him... and get fired... oh well
rotcgirl101 7
You also shouldn't be posting this on a public site.
mFUNdo21 17
no names were mentioned, so technically nobody's privacy was invaded
efriedman 3
If he asks you to help him... Do you have to...? 0.o
jonireson 11
Did he have dementia?
souljacker 11
Hey, it's maybe the only enjoyment the poor old git gets. Just deal with it, what's the big deal?
Duceswild99 19
This is even funnier because you have a policy regarding it. How many old men must have done this before management said "We should address this"
baref00tmama 15
OP, you should have said that you could come back at a more convenient time-if he's not suffering from dementia, he shouldn't be masturbating in front of you.