Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML
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Top comments
_GoodGuy 11
Can't wait to reach old age, I can do anything I want ;)
crazytwinsmom 25
I would think he'd be able to feed himself if he can whack off.
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Comments (122)
camlef39 8
yes it sucks.. poor OP who had to see this
jmw678910 1
Most state policy's say that all people have the right to do that in private. Meaning work policy should be that you leave and let him finish in private.
Obey_StudBoii 23
If he's old enough to whack off, then he's old enough to feed himself. Find yourself a new job OP
panther2013 7
Wtf! Why would they even add that rule unless they thought public masturbation is ok? What is this world coming to?
Zombie_Sea_Otter 9
That's a way to go, stroking out with your pud in your hand.
ultra_notorious 26
no lending of a helping hand?
moba_fml 2
U should quit the job you have now n find a better one ASAP
Angel_of_Night 10
First of all, thats disgusting. Second of all, EWW
mmahlke93 6
That's not just your works policy, most homes have the same policy. As a nursing assistants, I have to deal with it at least once a week
terryaly 13
you policy also sucks as your life do