Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML
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Top comments
_GoodGuy 11
Can't wait to reach old age, I can do anything I want ;)
crazytwinsmom 25
I would think he'd be able to feed himself if he can whack off.
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Comments (122)
bubblemint00 6
pretty good at multi tasking eh
jaydotch 5
'Yankees' fan
TheDrifter 24
So many "come back when he's done" comments. Am I the only one thinking that he'd likely just wait until she came back to finish?
Enslaved 38
Why, is that what you'd do? :P
TheDrifter 24
You think I could get away with it now, or do I have to wait until I hit geriatric?
1dvs_bstd 41
The hell kind of policy is that? Just dump the food and let the old perv feed himself, dafuq!!
nevergetsfirst 11
what a jerk!
nickob96 25
Does this happen so often that your company has a policy regarding it?...I find it wired
worldclassrager 41
That's an intreating rule...maybe you find a way not to feed him again...
FrankHotpants 31
So you're saying there's a place
FrankHotpants 31
...you can go to get fed while whacking it?? Maybe being old isn't so bad.
numberswoman 14
That must have been one hell of a terrific meal!
jayellef 3
How to do pretend not to notice when there's jiz all over you? That's so gross, I wouldn't work there.