Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML
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Top comments
_GoodGuy 11
Can't wait to reach old age, I can do anything I want ;)
crazytwinsmom 25
I would think he'd be able to feed himself if he can whack off.
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Comments (122)
Haley422 9
I think it may be time for a new job OP.
EvilLittleMan 23
Who knows he still may be whacking by the time his feeding time comes around on your next shift.
caysters 12
My work we were to leave and give them privacy. If they were competent enough (I worked with developmentally disabled clients), we were able to explain to them when that behavior was appropriate and when it wasn't. We also had to explain that sort of stuff if they were dating someone and wanted to have sex... Lol I can't imagine a policy that forces you to sit while they do that. I'd leave and come back.
snazzily 2
is there a policy that states he needs to pretend not to notice also?
Lujan09 1
you should of told him how much of a jerk off he is being Lmfao
theknozzle 14
I'm fairly sure you're perfectly welcome to leave if a resident is jerking off--and actually, you're supposed to in order to give them privacy? I used to be a resident assistant and there were no rules about staying in the same room as them even if we felt uncomfortable.
magaliwoodrock 19
They need to change the policy
myeviltwin 20
Sorry, scrolled to the bottom of the comments. At least their policy isn't that you have to help them finish :P
150493x 29
The guy is entitled to do so but you should talk to your boss. You should be allowed to leave him to it and come back later. That situation must make everyone feel really uncomfortable and awkward.
Dreamcatcher1229 17
I used to be a caregiver, it's definitely a unique job. OP, just remember that these patients are still people, I know this career path offers some interesting scenarios, so always remember that. It'll get you through the more, erm, delicate moments. And remember to keep everything as professional and as dignified as possible. :)