Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Today, I have been having to work in a residence of people with disabilities when I normally do community work with disabled people and usually enjoy it. I have seen not one, but two elderly mens' genitals today when my actual job would never require me to see any. I didn’t sign up for this. FML
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Top comments
_GoodGuy 11
Can't wait to reach old age, I can do anything I want ;)
crazytwinsmom 25
I would think he'd be able to feed himself if he can whack off.
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Comments (122)
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
How pleasant for you.
JoseIsAdork 31
at least he was choking the chicken and not choking on it, I'm a glass half full kind of guy
tarbaby6193 6
It's ok as long as there was no eye contact
blackwidowtaco 31
Even if op looked away, the jerking motion and sound alone would still be too disturbing to endure being in the same room with him.
elcee1987 18
So that's why you had to feed him? Cause his hand was busy? In all seriousness, this is damn nasty. I'd prob sue for sexual harassment, but I'm an American. We love lawsuits.
xzenofx 4
Well just just some Tabasco on his junk "by mistake"
wafflefriez91 17
That isn't right.
martin8337 36
Jackin. ' it in the old folks home.
joshuarowe88 5
"Dear staff In case of patient suddenly jerking off, please pretend not to notice"
nemoyae 1
lol
martin8337 36
Giggity?