Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML
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Top comments
ifunnyftw 10
Reply: "Before you ask if I called the cops, the answer is yes."
WCARlover 35
Restraining order asap
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Comments (50)
Vitotaylor36 13
Plot twist: OP cheated and this is revenge.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
Still really over dramatic either way.
dude_itskayley 17
Guess you guys relationship is not the only thing "broken" now! Lame joke? Yeah I'll just leave now :D
spicybasement 12
Bitches be crazy...
idontknow8 8
Maybe she was inquiring about something else. details soon i hope OP.
more4me 27
Yes to what ? Are you an asshole yes ? But OP probably already knew that.
Masift 21
Sue his/her ass!
inz002 6
"Will You marry me?"
kissmyaxel 9
*hires a undercover killer to do the work.
Denny1988 19
your ex is clearly crazy, but the question is how crazy? was he thinking you were going to ask him if he broke your window, or if he would like to marry you
nemcali 34
And that's why she's your ex