Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML
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Top comments
ifunnyftw 10
Reply: "Before you ask if I called the cops, the answer is yes."
WCARlover 35
Restraining order asap
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Comments (50)
MrConcise 35
I'd appreciate the honesty at least. I imagine there was alcohol involved. Or crazy bitch syndrome.
IloveWatsits 13
What the fudge
classicsparkles 17
That's when you reply "Yes, what?" And try to get some incriminating statements in writing and then call the cops and get them charged with destruction of property.
Fmlreadermostly 20
Take pictures. Screenshot that text then text something like " so you broke my car window" and if he relies with a yes, well you might be able to get him to pay for the damages. Good luck OP! You can get him arrested.
The_Avatar 22
Call the cops! Show them the text, and tell her to either pay up or take her to court. You have enough evidence
FitFriday 32
I thought I would clarify this now, OP's EX BOYFRIEND broke her car window!
1dvos_grl3 21
So you assume that since the OP is a girl her ex has to be a boy? She could like her own gender too, it just said "ex" you don't know if girl or boy.
vlalam 24
now it's easier to indict ur ex for the crime..
ImagineCrazy 27
How do you know if it were a girl or boy? They didn't even say a gender (unless it was in the title, I don't read titles) not all girls are psychopaths!
bab3ruthl3ss 16
But this begs me to ask... What did you do that caused the break-up?
UH60 26
LOL at all the commentors who assume it's a chick, and that a guy can't be a 'crazy bitch' and break car windows.
Brandi_Faith 34
I don't blame people for jumping to conclusions. Of course a male can react this way, but, unfortunately, it is far more likely for a female to do something like this.