Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, my car was stolen. I got it back later without the engine, any of the wheels or my brand new radio and speakers. They even took my car mats. FML
Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
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Top comments
bazoo42 25
Great! Now you have a DNA sample of the criminal to give to the cops.
RichardPencil 32
That’s a good thought, but are the cops going to deploy the DNA lab for Almost Grand Theft Auto?
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Comments (20)
bazoo42 25
Great! Now you have a DNA sample of the criminal to give to the cops.
RichardPencil 32
That’s a good thought, but are the cops going to deploy the DNA lab for Almost Grand Theft Auto?
BusterM 2
Unless they have been arrested before, they won't have a dna profile on record, judging by how poorly their attempt went, I say they aren't a pro.
RichardPencil 32
With the caked blood on your door, you ought to put on Juggalo make-up and offer rides to hitchhikers.
kodiakcownoy51 11
They will probably sue you for hospital bills , pain and suffering and loss work.
exileonmainst 16
Silver lining: you've now got a spare key to your car!
what??? 17
They might have the same car and couldn't get the key out when they realized their mistake
Selene1090 26
Okay, but I'm not going to just force my key in because I know I'm screwed if I break it. The person that put so much force into shoving their key in that they made their hand bleed, is apparently an idiot no matter how you look at it.
Lobby_Bee 18
True story, back in the days I mistaken another person's car for my own. It was same make, same model, and same color as mine. How did I find out? I unlocked the door with my own key and felt the seat was in a different position. It was a 1984 Toyota Corolla hatchback, I guess they just made the keys like chicken nuggets. Only eight different keys cut.
BonerFart 23
Was it an AE86?
Lobby_Bee 18
Yes sir, it was. That heap of crap was loads of fun.
ARISKomuniszt 24
ooops... Time to leave the state.
GIJoefan 6
DNA evidence!
Septembero 15
Bloody hell, you have got some evidence right there!
Etweens96 25
Hey! Free DNA sample! You can catch the jerk quicker! He just signed his own arrest warrant for you!