Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML
Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML
Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
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Top comments
gunmania0 12
What the hell is your name!?
jake1632 9
Jake..... But I go by Robert
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Comments (235)
ReptarSwag 4
say her nickname is dislexa
Triangle6757 9
I'm pretty sure it's spelled dyslexia that just might be me
AdolfShitler 0
Don't let that bitch disrespect you!
WCARlover 35
Haha im so glad I'm not having a roommate in college
cameron_natasha 0
wow just tell her what it really is.
bigbadtim 7
I think there is a pick-up line in that.. "Hi, my name is Lube. Want me to Lube you up?"
ReptarSwag 4
there's a better line... "hi my name is bigbadtim, fill me up to the brim"
KiddNYC1O 22
"They call me rim job Tim."
bigbadtim 7
LOL
KiddNYC1O 22
Awesome, you can take a joke.
lalagurl11 6
What's ur name!????
wild_n_out 8
ooh naa naa
epiclife101 0
I would say ' no its P-U-B-E' so she knows how rude it sounds
maffy4ever 8
Wear the name proudly.
wazowski77 0
al chippanis
annasworld 3
priceless