Today, my wife of seven years told me that she doesn't trust me with dog-sitting her dog while she leaves to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's with her family. She ended up calling someone she "trusts" to take care of her dog while I spend the holidays by myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML
Today, I spent Thanksgiving alone. I'm not close to my family, I'm the black sheep but my sister said she would come over. To my surprise, she ended up going to my family's', where I'm not wanted. My boyfriend went to his family's, so I spent the whole day alone. He'd even took my dog. FML
Today, my wife is refusing to go on our honeymoon because the resort we chose won’t allow pets. She’s now angry with me for not checking before we booked the place, and is threatening divorce if I go without her. I told her we could just get a dog sitter, but she refuses. Oh well. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the dog sitter I'd left him with while I was on vacation. When I arrived at her house to pick him up, she said, "I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about." and threatened to call the cops if I didn’t "leave her premises for trespassing." FML
Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation, and she'd asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldn't get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
Today, it's my wife's birthday. Since I had work, I gave her $200 to spend on herself and left. When I came back with dinner and the movie she wanted, I found her with a dog. She is very attached to him because the shelter was going to put him down. I love him, but I'm allergic to dogs. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
there must be more to it, why aren't you going with her for Thanksgiving?
SouthernBelle14 0
why aren't you gonna spend the holidays with her too?
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Comments (130)
badbe 0
Lol it's her dog, just enjoy your time off :)
mfmylifesrsly 30
yeah, but why the **** would you not go with her for the holidays?? like WTF... maybe she's a cheater! :O idk but still that's weird that you wouldn't spend the holidays with her and her family, like why arnt you going?
RedPillSucks 33
That does seem odd.
marc_with_a_c 3
what #42 said.. why do you spend them alone? that's ****** up (there's probably a good reason to this but since you didn't post it, we'll assume she never told her family about you and doesn't want them to ever know about you)
MrSassypants 34
1 yeah you're right. It is her dog. But when me and OP's wife came home we saw him getting freaky with the dog!! Lol jk.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
guys this is a perfect time for him to go wild and for once, and not have to worry about the 2 dogs in his life.
sourgirl101 29
Re-live your frat boy days?
iSitt 0
maybe he's stuck there bc of his job. it's a scary time to take vacations now.
WishResign 0
64 Be that as it may, the wife is still ****** up for leaving him through the holidays. I could understand her leaving for one but all of them? Also adding insult to injury by saying she doesn't trust him with the only companion he had left in the house & letting a friend take care of it.
zeeindahouse 0
lol
Insideous 0
I agree either she is cheating or about to dump you for the holidays.
naximus93 0
I agree. She sounds like a conniving, control tyrant
whoisthisgirl 4
married for seven years and you aren't spending the holidays together..? problem.
Ajaxxx 4
be glad the jerk didn't decide to take your junk n vandalize your crap
allmidnighteyes 11
Maybe someone will break into the house, trip over it, and accidentally kill it. Hopefully, they'll be nice enough to leave a note explaining it was an accident.
pegasii 0
^____^ I see what you did there
DocBastard 40
Midnight, that's preposterous. That stuff only happens in South Africa. In the US, the burglars steal your shit, wake you up and stab you in the spleen, break into your hospital room and stab you again in the ********, and then punch your mama in the chest.
MrSassypants 34
53 shut up! please shut up!! you're bringing me bad memories. ;(
DocBastard 40
Sassy- it was the spleen, wasn't it? They got you in the spleen? Poor, poor spleen. :(
zombieglamour_fml 0
best comment ever :)
tj79 3
scary time to take vacation???
heroesgleealias 0
hahahahaha
ithappens232 0
damn, trust issues... and first!!
catstuff 0
Prove to her that she can trust you.
Rangant 7
maybe if you referred to it as 'our dog' she might trust you
allmidnighteyes 11
Is there a previous incident involving peanut butter that you're not telling us about?
DocBastard 40
Peanut butter? What kind of random thing are you talking abou...oh wait...peanut bu...oh. OOOOOOHHHH.
bmore225 0
I bet the wife is one of those conceded bitches that carry their dog around in their purse. Please correct me if I'm wrong. if I were you, I'd find another companion to sleep with for the next month. (And I'm not talking about a dog either.)
silentfog 0
lol
_lilhoney_ 0
hahaha
hey123hey123 0
owned
robc32ca 4
there must be more to it, why aren't you going with her for Thanksgiving?
andyyroxx 20
Yeah... What did you do?
SouthernBelle14 0
why aren't you gonna spend the holidays with her too?
bmore225 0
Ever heard of the 7 year itch? Might explain this FML...