Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I took my dog for a basic spay and dental cleaning procedure. When I picked her up from the vet, I was reading through the surgery papers before they sent me away. They'd pulled 29 abscessed teeth and didn’t feel the need to tell me. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML
Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
The pain of incisors on your incisions must be incredible.
real life problems 26
Chew didn't wake up to it right away? Sorry that's terrible I know.
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Comments (24)
BurnInDemonFire 39
The pain of incisors on your incisions must be incredible.
real life problems 26
Chew didn't wake up to it right away? Sorry that's terrible I know.
thatslifeiguess7 16
Probably on good pain meds
RichardPencil 32
Are there many stitches after they take a look at your lap?
602offroad 12
The dog thought you were a squeak toy.
bl3ur0z3 17
Stitches after a laparoscopic surgery? I'm calling. B.S.
ajh1800 25
A quick Google search would have saved you from sounding like an idiot...
riley873 21
Same goes for you
mikbrooke 25
i had a laparoscopic surgery not even a month ago. they were shut with glue.
b00ts3ct0r 15
I had laparoscopic gallbladder removal back in 2016, and I had stitches. They weren’t bad at all by any means. I’m happy to have the laparoscopic done as opposed to me being gutted like a fish...
pjsr 33
You should be very happy you didn’t have a circumcision!
julfunky 29
Maybe your dog thought that the foreign object needed to be removed from your wound. Our dog likes to remove our bandages because he needs to lick the wound.
supertacowaffle 41
Okay. I’ve had a laparoscopy myself, and they put a plaster on your wounds that you are not allowed to remove for 48 hours for one so your stitches shouldn’t have been exposed for the dog to get at, and two, they are tiny dissolvable stitches in/around your bellybutton and then another two or three near the bikini line. So this makes no sense, sorry.
b00ts3ct0r 15
Two of my laparoscopic surgeries required the use of old-fashioned stitches. I had both my knees reconstructed 5 years back.
alycion 39
Yup, not all are for endometriosis and the like. I had 3 for that and another to get rid of my gallbladder. That had extra incisions. I no longer have a belly button, just a scar. 😂
GrumpyGrinch 23
Yeah, right, especially if the surgery is on the knee, you sure get a cut on bikini line. Note: OP doesn't say what kind of laproscopy that was.
ctck 17
Most laparoscopic procedures (abdominal area) are closed with a monofilament stitch under the skin that dissolves, and the skin covered with steristrips or dermabond (liquid skin). Some surgeons still use nylon suture to close the skin on arthroscopic (i.e. the knee) because it holds the wound better in areas that will flex.
weeping_willow 25
Uh, dude, your dog was trying to eat you.
boopingsnoot 25
Never trust a dog around bloodied bandages. They’ll dig thru trashcans for everything from used tampons to veterinary bandages, chew their own sutures and catheters out, and start eating humans alive if their toes smell like gangrene. Get that incision cleaned before you get necrotizing fascitis.