Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML
Today, my flatmate wanted to introduce me to his new friend, saying we'd, "get along great". Within the first half hour, she'd used the word "lit" eight times, and dabbed four times. FML
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML
Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
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Top comments
gunmania0 12
What the hell is your name!?
jake1632 9
Jake..... But I go by Robert
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Comments (235)
themisus28 7
HAHAHAHAHHA
doglover100 29
I want to know your real name.
FweakofCydonia 40
Is your name Lubert or something?
anonymus2 6
What the **** kinda name sounds like libr
fvck_my_life 6
So...is your name luke?
LizReszke 11
And you didn't think to mention what your name is so this story makes sense? Guess not because without your name, this doesn't make any sense at all.
CaroAurelia 12
Your name wouldn't happen to be Ljubica, would it? (Yes, folks, that's an actual name. It's Slavic, pronounced Yu-beets-a. Or something like that.)
gatorgirl7563 22
Don't respond to her using that nickname. It's as simple as that. Well, also find some way to teach her how to correctly pronounce your name. Like with index card with your name spelled correctly and then spelled phonetically beneath it.