Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate confided in me that she hadn't been taking showers while at school because she was afraid of being in the shower when the fire alarm goes off. She goes home once every month, and will only shower there. I have to live with her for the rest of the year. FML
Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML
Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML
Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML
Today, I woke up to my step-mother taking a shower in my bathroom. Of course, this would be fine, if my bathroom wasn't connected to my room and closet, or that I live in an apartment in their back yard, built before she moved in. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go on a group trip instead of paying our water bill. Now I can't shower until next week. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
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Top comments
Matty1188 6
Sorry, OP. That stinks.
Palirose 22
Tell her she needs to shower more. Otherwise you're going to start spilling buckets of water and soap on her every morning.
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Comments (123)
Matty1188 6
Sorry, OP. That stinks.
nado13579 12
Well at least she took one.
JustDerpin 11
that's so punny!
Birdie_Sage 0
For now, enjoy the freshness while you still can.
skoob1 12
B-d-chhhh*drums*
allthatandmore 0
Legit too
pytharo 6
Look at it on the bright side, you guys are saving on the water bill
auntycj 0
Why don't you ask her to join aquacize with you? At least its daily contact with water... Yeah, I know, I spelled aquacize wrong.
idefka 34
#44 *bu dum tssss
Celesta 11
Time to get the hose out!
coldashell 23
One of my buddies has his sister living with him. She never bathes. You can smell her 30 feet away. Time for the fire hose and bleach.
ycrem0n 21
And maybe some Windex
sillycart 9
^ Windex fixes everything.
Palirose 22
Tell her she needs to shower more. Otherwise you're going to start spilling buckets of water and soap on her every morning.
Gamaryn 0
So many bad jokes to this comment...lol. The one I instantly thought of, Is that if OP has to do this more than once they can say "Oops I spilled it again." like Britney Spears. I'll withhold the others LOL.
BRITTANYHUNGRY 0
I would do that very thing.
AntiHero1317 8
That is pretty disgusting and I hope that changes because I personally would not be able to deal with that.
coried91 28
As a woman, that's nasty. I would force her into the shower and wash her myself if I had to. I would just wear protective gear so I wouldn't have to touch that nasty shit that might possibly be growing between her thighs.
chili10 18
That's nasty for anybody...
coried91 28
True
abbybailey204 19
But at least she's showering though. Ya her timing does suck, but at least she's still showering.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
One shower every two months is good enough because "at least" she showers? WTF? That's disgusting as hell.
cmyk 19
As a woman, once a month you should pay even more attention to your hygiene.. -.- yuk. You can get sick if you don't clean yourself! And the smell... The smell.. *gags*
abbybailey204 19
I never said it was good enough, but every 2 months is better than never
MizzErikaHart 8
Who knows, she might not shower for 4 months now. Anyways op, maybe you should have a talk with her about hygiene and maybe you can compromise with weekly to bi-weekly showers...it's a start
evildemonchild 18
Well time to take out the trash... No pun intended eh well I tried anyway least she showers
ydi_4_suking 20
There was no pun.
TheThrasher_fml 0
"it's time to clean up this mess" is a pun.
deviable 9
"shower? I hardly know her!"
eddeeezzyy 19
I don't understand how some people can even feel perfectly fine with bad hygiene in the first place O.o
emba_fml 13
especially women. shit would get nasty :
coried91 28
51- I would feel like a giant grease ball. I don't want to even imagine the hell she puts her area through...
silvercamaro 22
Enjoy the decent smell while you can OP, or get a new roommate
sillycart 9
Buy her a water bed then when she is asleep pop it and dump soap on her. Lol that would be funny!
DocBastard 40
Two months without a shower? The bacteria living on her have probably evolved into a higher life form!
THE_A_TEEN 28
They're probably building vehicles capable of traveling to other worlds.
fuckmebutdontfml 16
Even hobos shower more often and they don't have the commodity of their own shower