Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML
Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML
Today, my youngest son had to have stitches on his chin. He did great; I passed out. FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
Today, I picked out a massive two-inch long ingrown hair on my chin. I called my girlfriend in to take a look. She saw it, shrieked, then fainted, cracking her head on the toilet as she fell. Hello, hospital bill. FML
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Top comments
1221jamw 11
knock knock. Hello it's CPS may we come in?
Jakk100 20
That would have been awkward to explain to the staff the second time around! "See it's actually kinda a funny story..."
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Comments (73)
Jakk100 20
That would have been awkward to explain to the staff the second time around! "See it's actually kinda a funny story..."
devildog562 33
It's all funny until they open a cps case against you. Then you have people digging through all your stuff and watching every move you make . It'll be a good story way later on in life though .
Hyenayena 27
Wow, #15. You sure are the light of the party
teentee401 37
...And then the mom reenacts how she clocked her child and clocks her again.
1221jamw 11
knock knock. Hello it's CPS may we come in?
kibster9 20
No.
mwali02 32
Poor life choices. Good luck with this one mama!
cksmith51 14
It's okay OP, Adrian Peterson said it was an accident too
hipposteve 21
poor baby! :(
roydashious 11
runs in the family ?
echarlotte 19
That'll be embarrassing when you're back in the ER
trellz17 19
I'd say it's more "**** your daughters life".
jacjax 10
at least she'll be ok ? but imagine explaining to the doctor again haha,
Abhinow 7
you seem to be a bubble wrap mom
MandieL 27
In what way?
MandieL 27
I meant the bubble wrap comment.
Econforthwin 15
How did the doctor respond? I want a follow up here because he couldn't have been enthused.