Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML
Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML
Today, my youngest son had to have stitches on his chin. He did great; I passed out. FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
Today, I picked out a massive two-inch long ingrown hair on my chin. I called my girlfriend in to take a look. She saw it, shrieked, then fainted, cracking her head on the toilet as she fell. Hello, hospital bill. FML
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Top comments
1221jamw 11
knock knock. Hello it's CPS may we come in?
Jakk100 20
That would have been awkward to explain to the staff the second time around! "See it's actually kinda a funny story..."
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Comments (73)
Lilkat39 5
Jeebus, you're an idiot. You can't explain what happened like an adult. That poor little girl having to get stitches twice because you're a moron.
1stones 8
More like **** her life :(
TheKingOfHearts 19
You're an idiot. ? You deserved it.
leogachi 15
Why is there a question mark in the middle of that?
LadyLuck93 20
Gosh... one of those freak accidents, pamper her & spoil her for the next few days.
heavenlyassbutt 11
Surely you can see the irony in this. Just laugh it up.
ESE_gutty 18
Perfect re-enactment ??
Drosophila82 18
Was your husband too keen on witnessing a reenactment? Now she'll have a double scar on her face! ****** parents
ohSNAPyall 27
Not a double scar. The same wound opened back up.
Hyenayena 27
Forget about the parent trying to explain... Kids have no filter. Doctor: so, what happened? Kid: mommy made me do it
krholub 9
Been there when I was 5 I broke my arm as I'm walking in front door it flies back & door handle busts my forehead open.......2 trips to the same Er in same night
8Dirty1 24
ouch!