Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML
Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML
Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Well, now all you can do is own it. Don't have a stick up your ass about it. Or do, I guess.
ninjamadi 16
You kinda walked right into that one. sorry OP
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
ninjamadi 16
You kinda walked right into that one. sorry OP
allforfun 23
Or sat on it
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Well, now all you can do is own it. Don't have a stick up your ass about it. Or do, I guess.
Sinjar 6
I just commented for the medal.
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
But what is the medal for?
Gillett 23
I don't think that's a stick homie!
pikachurro 18
Prepare a costume, become a super villain and take revenge.
thatonetribute 31
Dug your own grave there, OP. Sorry.
giantsfan2010 23
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
dBLIZZARD 20
I think YDI for saying that in a work place.
Wow_okayyy 13
You're just gonna have to take it ;D
Gillett 23
I believe she already has.
mzshannababy 16
that's a tight situation
Gillett 23
Yeah "butt" i bet she enjoys those sit-uations!
JJ_V3N0M 19
Don't worry OP. I'm sure your little mishap will fade away fast. Just laugh it off and carry on:)
dakatabg 31
They know your sex secret
Gillett 23
and now they'll fantasize about her.