Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML
Today, I walked in the snow and saw some kid slip. I laughed and felt good about myself. Then I fell. FML
Today, after spending the past four days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law patted my head and said, "I'll go get some salt." FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
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Top comments
Callyn 47
So how long is he grounded for? I hope he didn't get away with it.
swaneh 0
Sounds like a kid with a unique sense of humor. He has my respect.
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Comments (143)
cowgod 0
hahjajajajaja
MBTnauset 0
Do not look down there vvvvv
MBTnauset 0
The Game
jf7609 0
beat the shit outta that little turd! lol
BoarderBoy15 0
wow it's only one hundred dollars it's not that big of a deal
Metzler31 17
and how about the pain that was involved too! and if it's only '100 dollars', why don't you ******* pay for it?
brittany1013 0
does this mean I lose the game?
MF12 0
I just lost it :)
evan_789 7
**** YOU!!!!!!!!!
shadow33456 1
good thing he didn't spray ur side walk with something els if u know what I mean
MBTnauset 0
I did tell you not to look down so don't blame me.... should have listened lmao :)
CupCakeGirl101 0
jeez hes a kid ur his dad teach him shit! wow calm down u probly spend 100$ on ur cell phone plan just calm urself!
cookiemobzta 0
YDI for not knowing that staples work the same
swaneh 0
Sounds like a kid with a unique sense of humor. He has my respect.
Nsnlover 0
funny I have a sense of humor like tht
kayladance101 13
i like your kid.
ShadowzI 0
And he threw you on the ground.
forest1wolf 9
I see a very painful beating in the kids future probably by his dad
MrsDruidess 23
that does not deserve respect, not when the joke is dangerous like icing a sidewalk! Respect would need to be if he could pull off something funny without resorting to injuring someone else. OP I hope you made him shovel all the snow for the rest of the winter and maybe the next!
VanessaVander 2
that sucks bad. hope u feel better
Trav42 0
Well ya gotta love kids! :P
FML876 0
Maybe he trying to tape you falling and busting your head so he can put it on a american funniest home vidoes
Callyn 47
So how long is he grounded for? I hope he didn't get away with it.
betseyville 6
Grounded? If my child ever did this to me (not that I have one now), he'd be getting an ass whooping.
Callyn 47
Beating kids doesn't teach them anything, plus it's illegal. I'd certainly want to do so, but I'd refrain.
CheshireHalli 19
Spanking does teach them something: doing something really bad hurts me too. Punching you kids: Illegal. Spanking: Probably illegal, but shouldn't be.
ShadowzI 0
yeah but spanking bites them psycholocially 10 years later. Making them suffer for their errors is a good way to teach kids... on a short term bases. Course we could choose to ignore them and have 10 years of obediance. but that would be wrong?
Freeze_fml 17
The crap you guys come up with is amazing.
betseyville 6
Grounding doesn't teach them anything.
nyc718 0
You must be one of them tree hugging hippies .Children who are put on "timeout" turn out to be one of two things... Gay or serial killers. Beatings teach valuable lessons my mom beat the shit out of me and I turned out just fine. OP beat him till the white meat shows. I garuantee he'll think of that beating everytime he thinks of doing something as stupid as putting water on a freezing sidewalk.
CheshireHalli 19
I was whipped when I was younger and 10+ years later: I'm NOT psychologically scarred.
alexisthename 0
^ I agree. There's a big difference between hitting and beating a child. I used to get hit as a child and I deserved it 100% of the time. I'm almost 30 years old and respect how my parents taught me discipline. Dumbass parents these days let their kids get away with everything.
Freeze_fml 17
Me too.
joce445 0
109 Just because a child gets put on a timeout does not mean they will be gay or a cerial killer. I was put on timeouts and I am neither. Nor am I a tree hugging hippie. The method of punishment usually doesn't affect the way a child turns out.
Martini94 0
Beating is illegal, physical punishment is not, to hit a kid is the parents choice as long as it isn't with excessive force, but I m also European so I consider it normal to be beaten with a belt
brownlace 0
sounds like an ass whooping waiting to happen!
ChadHelton 8
sounds like a few ass whooping didn't happen in the past. too late now, your child is an Asshole
chaos753159 4
Atleast you've had sex or ... is he adopted?! 0=
Freeze_fml 17
the ****?
fudrick 0
Yeah, what the ****? "Oh man that sucks, but at least you've had sex before!!" Who the **** says that?
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Yeah, because it'd be so much more of an FML if he was a virgin. What the f**k?!
chaos753159 4
I say that and it would be more of an FML
alexisthename 0
99% of FML's can be solved with a swift kick to the balls. Especially if it involves a child.
Ajjas013 6
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Ajjas013 6
Including that one... Lol. It actually ranges from 40 to 90%. It's always changing. Right now it's about maybe 70%
kristy027 0
umm I think it's actually like 79%
Ajjas013 6
Idk lol.
Exodus_499 0
That'll teach you not to have free healthcare :/
Freeze_fml 17
I guess it's good if you fall on your head every day. Perfect for you.
Luckster 0
If you did not ground him, you fail as a parent.