Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
zman1422 3
He really does care!
Stealthed 8
There's no joke about a zombie apocalypse.
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Comments (179)
Drizzt127 0
You'll thank him when the apocalypse hit.
saphfiire 13
Its okay... Z-day is my bf's biggest fear. He reminds me regularly that if I were to get bitten he wouldn't think twice about shooting me in the head. And that the sentiment goes for anyone, including his parents & sisters. I just laugh about the fact that should z-day ever happen, I'll probably be the first one bitten anyway since that's just my luck!
whited666 0
That's love, my dear :)
Brookiebear167 0
Mine got mad when I said his plan of survival would be a failure. He literally stopped talking to me for an hour.
xrainbowshadowx 17
Just follow all of the zombieland rules and you'll be fine :D
shirleyl91_fml 6
you don't joke about zombies ... ever....
writergirl23 19
I think he's watched Shawn of the Dead to much
ZmbChick 0
Aw he can shoot ur head and u'll die instantly....at least he's keeping u around for a while. Now that's true love!
lolrly 0
Well one can hope he'll at least wait until you're undead to do so.
yankfan89 27
I would sleep with one eye open he may try to kill you claiming you that you were turned into a "zombie"