Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my wife while she was on her period. After some time, I felt a burning sensation. When I pulled out, there was not only blood on my penis, but IN my penis. I, a man, peed out period blood. It hurt. I did not know this was possible. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, when I woke up I saw that my bald head is covered with my wife's period blood. Again. She does it regularly once a month, despite asking her not to. She thinks this blood activates hair growth. She is serious. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML
Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML
Today, while fingering my girlfriend in the dark, I tried to be sexy and licked my fingers. After we turned the lights back on, we realized that her period had come early. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML
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Top comments
alfalfalaffa 17
she's a keeper
Hybricide 8
Welcome to marriage.
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Comments (9)
RichardPencil 32
Congrats! You've earned your Red Wings!
Cali 57
Is that what Red Bull was always promising?
manofmerr 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This isn't a fml. This is marriage in all its weird disgusting glory. Enjoy your life together, and be happy for the little bloodstained moments.
species4872 20
Proud parents no doubt.
Lily_Rain77 25
Not saying this is a good thing. But I get called across the house to look at all kinds of grossness. Men do it too. This is just pay back :-P
alfalfalaffa 17
she's a keeper
Hybricide 8
Welcome to marriage.
alaina1104 11
I think she was trying to tell you something...