Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML
Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML
Today, I'm trying to get over my OCD by wearing 2 different shoes. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML
Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML
Today, at the gym, I attempted to deadlift after binge eating ice cream last night. I need new underwear. FML
Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Ooh, pogo sticks! Definitely worth it. But YDI for eating that much. Try to control yourself next time.
Jimboom 12
Yes I see. Another victim of Pogo dieting. Less dangerous than Yo-yo dieting but more messy.
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Comments (94)
kenshinjapan 2
idiot.
Civilianswilldie 0
I'm sorry OP but my sympathy meter seems to be on E.
jeffav51 0
totally dude.
primadonna9396 16
Agreed. Who the **** goes to Olive Garden under the age of 70?
Brennanrulez 0
who the hell gets sick from a pogo stick?
moonbootz 7
hahahahaha
Doortje 30
Ooh, pogo sticks! Definitely worth it. But YDI for eating that much. Try to control yourself next time.
MissBunny25 0
pogo sticks are awesome :D
vegan_muffin 5
not as awesome as DISCO sticks.
SwaggerMelon 6
58 Win ^
ofernando84 4
How can u not over eat at Olive Garden? Breadsticks are free goddammit!
510beauty 0
YDI
kingtz 6
Yeah, ydi for pigging out.
JacindasaurXD 0
I've never road a pogo stick:( consider yourself lucky hehe
kingtz 6
Road?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Tree?
lukethe 0
Not only did you spell 'rode' wrong, you were saying it in the wrong tense... "I've never RIDDEN..." Jeeeeez!
cptmorgan15 2
I don't know about you people, but i don't ride pogo sticks either. I have used one though.
theian01 3
You can ride MY pogo stuck ;-D *gets shot*
theian01 3
Umm. stick. stupid phone.
QueenOfBoredom 0
i snickered at this ^_^
Epic_Phale615 0
I love snickers!
kris12k4 7
epic fail, yeah that happens alot
oooKiLLaHooo 0
I love this comment..it's soo dumb..33 is right unless #5 is dead..
oooKiLLaHooo 0
then it's still wrong..lol..whoops..
j300zx 0
Awesome combination.
clashatdemonhead 3
wow you're stupid. hopefully you never get pregnant, a repeat of this and you'd give yourself an abortion
Celesta 11
Why would you assume she'd use a pogo stick while pregnant?
MoreLemonPledge 0
you look like a girl I knew named mardy or marty or something
clashatdemonhead 3
just a guess haha
afdude87 6
odd combination
givants 0
I case you don't get it, she/he threw up
Doortje 30
THAT'S why her shoes are two different colours?! Oooh, I totally get it now, thank you so much!
john7h567hgrd 0
Ooooh!! I didn't understand this AT ALL...
ImRickJamesBish 0
#10 thank you because I certainly did not get it!
cptmorgan15 2
Haha PHEW! Thank god there's someone smart enough to figure this out for us.
jbsington 8
lol, sarcasm, sarcasm...
Exhausti 0
#48 Seriously?! :O
free2speak 14
ohh! I thought she pooped her pants! oops on my part!
gtkt3 0
number thirteen is a ******
NeverLetGo13 0
I modded this and btw op your a fool
j300zx 0
That's what she said^^^ Ha!