Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zman1422 3
He really does care!
Stealthed 8
There's no joke about a zombie apocalypse.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
brandonwong 18
He's probably serious. I have zombie dream often in which i have to kill family, friends, or acquaintances.
1000waystofml 0
Ur scared cause your afraid that theres goin to be a zombie apocalypse? You know what scares me! YOUR I.Q!!!
Jbcarrera82 5
now thats love!!!
jeepy_fml 4
he should join you as zombie
Ithok1 3
Proper planning is key to survival. Plus do you really wanna suffer as a zombie? No, hes a great man to do you that favor.
Shrimp_Martini 4
Oh he's serious. That man's love for you runs deep. Trust me, I've been there.
gemzi23 2
i'd say he's being serious, i had a similar dream last night so understand where he's coming from
SimpleMonarch92 2
He truly loves you. be thankful
rubberduckie94 13
In my town once a year we have a zbie walk for the humane society. people dress as zbies and walk aroumd down town. my son and i decided one year sombody either 1. high 2. drunk 3. crazy or any combination of the above is going to see everyone, freakout and a blood bath will ensue. LOL. your boyfriend has been watching to many movies and playing to many video games. get him out of the house and reassimilate him to real life.
arcottrammathorn 1
That's true love right there... He deserves a nice, sloppy bj for that one