Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML
Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
zman1422 3
He really does care!
Stealthed 8
There's no joke about a zombie apocalypse.
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Comments (179)
guitarplayer546 0
He is probably playing alot of dead island
PinkFun1969 9
This Kid plays to many video games
centarous85 0
Yo! Ik zoombahs rnt real but they can scare ya!
Jujubilee 1
Lol! I just said something very similar to my best friend today at lunch! I told her that if she got infected I'd shoot her in the head, and I were infected I would bite her! Haha
emo_chick4 0
Haha yeah! That's the way to do it!
rocker135 0
making it to round 80 of call of duty zombies gives you those dreams
Snookie85 19
For your sake, let's hope he was joking!
gunner2590 0
The zombie apocalypse is very serious... You should pretty much believe him. But at least he loves you enough to put you out of your misery.
gahballs3 6
Maybe you'd turn in to a badass zombie and kill him and he wouldn't get the chance to kill you!
giantsap 5
Romantic.
Mitch_Connor 11
If he truly loved you, he'd try to have sex with you turned into zombie instead. Dump him.