Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
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Top comments
shadowcalling 0
i kiss my dog all the time and i let her share the bed with me, i don't see what is so gross about it
floresntadolecnt 0
Geez, you make it sound like people are ******* their dogs. A simple kiss on the nose is no biggie, get over it and keep your face away from dogs..seriously.
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Comments (72)
shmaller 0
Did anyone who's complaining about the OP kissing their dog read the FML? She's kissing him on the nose, not making out with him.
granite444 0
ummm yea no offence but get a boyfriend and sleep with him instead, im sure he wont mind if u kiss him on the ass
dclover 0
omg...WAYYY TOO FUNNY!!
kylieh72 25
That is equally as disgusting as kissing a dogs ass.
blahblahblah43 0
i agree with #6, you need to look before you act.
HinkeyPunk 0
That's really cute. I'm going to miss my dog.
Avenging_Angel 0
There's nothing wrong with sleeping with a beloved pet. It's nice cuddling with a warm furry cat. And OMG, pets have feces on them?! Well, no duh! I'd say everyone does! There are way more people than you'd think who DON'T wash their hands after using the bathroom. Kissing is a sign of love. It's not gross to show someone that you love them, is it?? *kisses my kitty on its nose*
tangerine_12 0
ahaha omd! my friends last name is arce! exept with a c and not s. that is sooo funnyyy(:
Flea_fml 0
i bet ur dogs girlfriend is getting pestered for a rim job now! hah..
gotta_roflcopter 0
Kiss your pet on the cheek, or something. You can get all sorts of diseases from kissing your dog/ letting it lick your face. Ask my lil sister, she got too cosy with her lap dog and ended up looking quite green for a few weeks.
stoobo 0
For those of you talking about wheather to say arse or ass, arse is originally the right word, Americans changed it to ass and for some reason it caught on. An ass is an animal, an arse is what you shit out of.
Sindy_fml 4
LMFAO