Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Show, don't tell
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
When you gotta go…
Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML
Potty drama
Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Well done sweetie
Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Pooped out
Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML
I just can't hide it
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Learning curve
Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML
Top comments
humpaleg 12
Im just curious, why do people wear shoes inside?
drayloon 50
Some people just need a little lift to accomplish a task
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Comments (103)
SharnaaaBanana 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Omg. But that's kind of cute really =]
Sandsh8rk 36
How is that cute? It's gross if anything.
Retaheki 27
#24, It's not gross, it's the new, hipster piss shining, because spit shining is too mainstream.
Rawrshi 25
Main"stream". I see what you did there.
vampire1618 5
Not cute. I work in the "potty training room" at a daycare and not only is it gross, it's spiteful which is not a quality you want a child of that age (or any) to have.
grimpeeper 13
Um, no. That is disgusting.
Rababco 29
#70 I don't think the little girl was being spiteful. She's two and doesn't have good control of her bladder yet. It was most likely accident.
drayloon 50
Some people just need a little lift to accomplish a task
hekinokuroihi 20
Get a training toilet shaped like a shoe I guess.
mightycocoman 12
This is a clever comment, why is it so downvoted?
Pandacupcakelove 26
I liked this comment too! What gives, people?
Retaheki 27
What happened was people saw one downvote and said "Gee, this must be a horrible comment" then proceed to downvote more.
Sideshowray94 8
Urine trouble now!!
Sandsh8rk 36
Gee, I've never heard of that one before...
Flaming_Pandas 15
I think your vote count is in trouble now.
Sideshowray94 8
Hahah it was worth a shot right? It wouldn't be an FML post without some douchebag stating the obvious and using a well worn pun, like a well used sock (if you know what I mean).
mrmcleod 29
I guess you could say OP got a little peeved.
avx_fml 8
that's actually so cute! and atleast she got the idea!
Bibliovore 26
Actually, kids can't "get the idea" in that sense until the nerve pathways have developed in their brain that let them know when their bladder or bowels are full. Until that happens (age varies per kid, but usually between 2 and 3), they literally can't learn to control it. In general, people who "toilet train" before that stage are simply learning to recognize when their kid might need to go to the bathroom and trying to catch it in a toilet instead of in a diaper, with no active control happening from the kid. So this 2-year-old might be able to learn already, but might not be physically capable of it yet.
vixypixys 13
Baby led potty training is the way to go. No pressure. I have a dry 2 year old who did it all his own way: Obviously with many accidents, but what is life without a urine soaked carpet, sanitary, that's what.
mrmcleod 29
I respectfully disagree #26. I potty trained a barely 2 year old within days of starting to babysit her. I heard her grunting and assumed she was trying to do her bussiness, I sat her on the potty and she made a poopy. I congratulated her thoroughly, it took a couple more times of me predicting when she was going to go and she got the idea. People don't give kids enough credit.
marcranger 29
50, not all two-year olds are like that. I've got friends going through potty training struggles with their 2 and 3-year-olds now...clearly their kids are not ready.
Bibliovore 26
#50, sounds like that kid was ready. Please note, though, that my post about kids needing to develop the nerve endings to be able to tell when they need to go -- and that for most kids that's some time between turning 2 and turning 3, which also fits the child you mentioned -- is a matter of researched fact, not my personal opinion.
vampire1618 5
Sort of. Reinstating my comment fron above, I work in the potty-training room at a day care and I have plenty who don't have the actual control yet (they can feel an empty or full bladder, not that they will always understand what to do with thag sensation) but get the concept of pee in the in the potty. Or even just going to the bathroom before having an accident/void in their diaper/pull up. Those who are just starting we'll reward for understandingbthe connection between pee and potty (poop usually follows by itself but still tends to be the more difficult one).
doodlecloud 27
Came here to make sure someone said what 26 said. Any childcare practitioner knows this. They might enjoy sitting on and sometimes using a toilet beforehand, and maybe sometimes you'll get lucky, but they'll never be fully proficient until they can actually anticipate when they need to go, physically. It's nothing to do with credit, it's just biology. Obviously some kids will be quicker and slower but that's the gist of it.
onlychildFTW 34
How did all these kids get potty trained so early??? Jeez. I was day trained at 5yrs with 2-3 accidents a week till 8yrs and night accidents into my teens. Jeez.
humpaleg 12
Im just curious, why do people wear shoes inside?
Paigey90 3
To avoid getting peed on your socks/slippers
doctorhook86 25
#7: Came here to ask exactly this. What are we, barbarians? Shoes are for outdoors!
Flaming_Pandas 15
Clearly she was wearing them for the purpose of protecting her feet from her daughter's urine. As you can see, her efforts paid off.
xLIGHTS_fml 23
Maybe she was leaving in a bit and already had her shoes on
doctorhook86 25
#37: Pop woulda kicked our asses growing up if we'd been walking around the house in shoes for any reason.
PharmacyJoe 13
Depends on how you were raised. Some families get bent out of shape if you wear your shoes on the carpet; other families just don't give a hoot. My family didn't care, and neither did my wife's, so we don't really care too much (so long as you don't have mud on your shoes).
marcranger 29
Because the floor is too cold for socks to help with.
BlueShade 17
Probably because since they were new, they wanted to break them in a little bit. That's my only guess.
doodlecloud 27
I prefer to wear slippers, and tend to now anyways, but a lot of my family wear shoes. Our house is pretty old and though we've fixed up most of the rooms, the halls still have odd floorboards and the occasional nail sticking out a bit. So shoes or decent soled slippers are a must. So that's one possible reason?
doctorhook86 25
In my family, it was mainly a respect thing. "This house is where all of us live, so don't **** it up for the rest of us, k?" kinda thing. Regarding keeping your feet warm: damn, that's gotta suck. But don't y'all have furnaces?
onlychildFTW 34
Yeah my friends have cold floors even with the furnace. I notice it a ton because my houses floors have a hydronic hot water heating system. No matter the temperature the floors are always warm. Shoes would be a waste. Plus shoes indoors make the place filthy.
jadeleepenguin 29
I know that feel. Happened to me last week!
Jasim 17
Better than in your mouth. Believe me that sucks.
Sideshowray94 8
Especially when it's your own.... There was no FML back then to turn to for that horrific experience.
randomname98 22
My parents told me that when I was very little, probably less than a year old, they set me on a table to change my diaper, and when they removed it I peed right in my own mouth.
timb1234 13
The urge of making a pun about piss is pissing me off
Tarlachia 33
Get her a potty of her own. You sit on the big one and pretend (or do your business), and have her sit on hers. We're doing that with our 2 year old daughter and it's working.