Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
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Top comments
shadowcalling 0
i kiss my dog all the time and i let her share the bed with me, i don't see what is so gross about it
floresntadolecnt 0
Geez, you make it sound like people are ******* their dogs. A simple kiss on the nose is no biggie, get over it and keep your face away from dogs..seriously.
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Comments (72)
geewhiz 0
Why do you let your dog sleep in your bed anyway? and it doesnt matter which end you kiss. your dog licks its own arse so even if you are kissing its face :s you are still getting the germs from its butt. eergh.
brbgirl 0
I kiss my dog asshole
Gourmet_Taco 0
You deserved it for kissing a dog. Ew.
VoteForTaco 8
-52 *dog's*
sens3sfailing 25
A dogs mouth is cleaner than your's. How discusting for your dog to be kissed by your dirty mouth.
Sifilis 4
*dog's
MessedUpLife00 13
Disgusting*
revieced 13
sorry but sleeping with your dog is disgusting! get a boyfriend.......
MyDailyLife 1
arse is actually means ur butt buht ass means a donkey ppl just use ass cuz its easier to say, shorter and they sound the same...... so the correct word is acually arse
woahitsashlynn 0
but arse just sounds weird. I'm thinking we shoutld just say ass!! :)
wasted0087 0
Actually the correct term would be Buttocks, "Arse" I have only seen been used by the Brits.
clarkey 0
ass is what yanks say!
altenita92 0
i agree!:) get a man
Goodlife918975 6
Why don't you get a girlfriend
_charliebrown_ 3
#51 maybe they are with someone. No need to hate on someone for showing their pet some love
CaptainPat 0
ugh... i dont like it when people say "arse" it's not even a word. it's ass.
janebratzindia 0
i love when people say arse! just sounds better.
geewhiz 0
Arse is actually the correct word to use maybe you should use a dictionary sometime. Ass refers to a horse like mamal which was not what i was talking about.
missmontreal97 4
lol #5 same here.
fluff23 7
#5 I'm guessing you have never looked in a dictionary...
mylifeisnotfuckd 0
why dont you look before kissing an animal...?
hannah5 1
"Arse" isn't a real word? The Oxford English Dictionary disagrees in quite strong terms, seeing as they have etymological examples of it dating back to at least the 14th century. It may not be in use in your country (presumably somewhere in North America), but it's much more common than "ass" in the UK. But in reference to the FML - I have to agree that it's pretty disgusting to kiss your dog on either the mouth or the arse.
kylieh72 25
Right
shadowcalling 0
i kiss my dog all the time and i let her share the bed with me, i don't see what is so gross about it
marisalee 0
same here
Noelletakumi 36
People just perceive it as disgusting because kinds of germs and bacteria are on your dog everywhere. Not to mention they lick their nether regions and then themselves. Same goes with cats.
will90 5
"Who doesn't let their dog sleep on their bed? I kiss my animals. Get over it." Oh we're over it. Are you over having your dogs shit in your mouth? "i kiss my dog all the time and i let her share the bed with me, i don't see what is so gross about it" Glad you feel that way. Hope you warn anyone that might be unfortunate enough to want to kiss you that they'll be giving your dog a rimjob.
Mylees 0
shut up . I'm writing this as my lovely cat sleeping beside on my bed
fluff23 7
#9 You never had a childhood OR a pet, did you? Nothing is gross about pets.. I mean we are all LIVING things.. Everyone is probably as "gross" as you say animals are ( including you ). You have NO idea how filthy everything is after a day. Your as 'nasty' as you say animals are...
fluff23 7
#9 Also, whenever you touch anything, there is a possibility that you get dog shit in your mouth. Have a nice life :)
MessedUpLife00 13
You're*
floresntadolecnt 0
Geez, you make it sound like people are ******* their dogs. A simple kiss on the nose is no biggie, get over it and keep your face away from dogs..seriously.
AnnaSeptic 0
Gosh, people are so stupid. Sleeping with your dog is not disgusting. Agree with ten, you're making it sound like people are screwing their dogs. And 5, not everyone in every country is going to talk like you do. Get over it.
Boomi 39
One of my lifelong friends is British, so I know that there are multiple ways of saying it, and I have at least three friends I've known a couple years who also speak like that. And to be honest, I don't care how my dog sleeps, I love him and hug him, but I'm usually careful to kiss the top of his head or something.
pearls 0
#5 shut up, "arse" is british, ass is the american-ised version of it.