Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
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Top comments
shadowcalling 0
i kiss my dog all the time and i let her share the bed with me, i don't see what is so gross about it
floresntadolecnt 0
Geez, you make it sound like people are ******* their dogs. A simple kiss on the nose is no biggie, get over it and keep your face away from dogs..seriously.
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Comments (72)
Mermaidbella 0
Its a good thing that your toothbrushes and mouthwash were there, otherwise... your ******.
Dante_Nakura 0
BAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! *breathes in* BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So funny! My cat sleeps on my bed, but they are cleaner than dogs I guess. In fact, last night my cat must have thought I needed to wash my hair more often. I woke up and he was grooming it. Funny kitty.
Frenz 0
My sister once kissed our cat's butt. Kitty was all curled up and she couldn't tell where her head was. :P
LoosechangeXxXx 0
This is crappy as number 2 pointed out but who cares if you animals sleep in your bed and really still this does not FyourL at all so really this is a fail.
prgirl 0
you need a significant other
LOL_UrLifeSucks 0
dude ur such a kiss ass. :)
IndigoArkanian 4
LOL
J0gby 0
arse
Popsiclese 0
hehehe French people say ass funny
ilikecheeselmao 0
lmaoo, nice oneee
mhmmm1234 0
ydi just for sayin 'arse'