Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found myself trying to explain to my puppy why I'm still single. I think I just found out why. FML
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML
Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, I realised that I'm kinda living the life of a Disney princess, because I'm lonely and all my friends are animals. Yes, I also talk to them. FML
Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation, and she'd asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldn't get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML
Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML
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Top comments
zee209 0
Who cares? Do you really HAVE to be out doing something on a Friday night? Stop whining and grow up.
HumansSuck 0
It's okay, my cousin's the same way. You'll find someone.
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Comments (112)
plexico 4
He's listening to every word you say. He's not staring at your ****. He's not just thinking about how he's going to hump you. This is better than 95+% of the men you'd meet tonight if you went out.
Intoxicunt 6
He's not ******* her. He's not as good as 95+% of the guys she could be out with.
Casualt1234 0
dogs (depending on the breed) can probably go down on a girl better than 95+% of men. ;)
shelboo_fml 0
Being single is so much more fun.... I can never imagine being tied down to someone for so long.. New people and new experiences sounds much better :)
n_london 0
oh come on, this is such a stupid fml. yeah, that's mildly depressing, i guess, but i don't exactly have any sympathy. i guess i would have thought this was an fml in high school... but after that, i don't think anyone should be crying themselves to sleep just because they didn't go out one friday night.
playfuldesk 0
Haha femanazis never heard a crazy bitch called that haha
silent_singer 0
wow...... the sad parts is that I would totally do something like that.... no worries! =)
inthisemoment 0
Hey girl im in the same situation... My boyfriend broke up with me last night and im stuck home except im drawing n writing poetry to get my mind off it. Just wanted to let you know your not alone XD n i talking to my dogs and sometimes stuffed animals (im15) stupid right? Whatever though it keeps me company....if u wanna talk u can get me at [email protected].
sublime93 0
Stuffed animals? Posting your email? Goodness...
Lc7926 15
I bet the book was Walking Around In Circles Before Lying Down. Girl gets dumped by her boyfriend and starts hearing dogs talk to her like normal people.
DameGreyWulf 1
Man, I can't believe how many people feel their life is ruined or over or bad in any sort of way just because they don't have someone on their arm.
DrunkenValor 0
That's because deep down, we're all hopeless romantics.
sjks 0
first!!! finally!
kirbyfan23 0
I don't care if that was a joke or not, you should be punched in the face by ghetto guy in a dress.
Heathersaur 0
"Today, I have no life. FML"