Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be cute to teach my dog a new trick in which I throw and then he brings me back a rolled up newspaper. He disappeared after it, then successfully returned with what turned out to be my neighbor's dirty boxer shorts. Apparently, my dog has a different definition of "fetch." FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, the canine behaviour course I am studying released a new assignment in which I need to film myself teaching a dog a new trick. The only dog I have access to is my sister's neurotic, anxious Chihuahua who bites at any sudden noise. FML
Today, I taught my dog to "give me his paw" as a cute trick. Now he won’t stop doing it. Anytime I try to eat, work, or sit down, I’m ambushed by a very proud dog pawing at my leg for treats. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Today, I tried to get a funny reaction from my dogs with a fart, like I saw in a YouTube video. I shat my pants and the dogs didn't even notice. FML
Today, I was excited to teach my new puppy how to fetch. I threw the stick, and he just stared at it, then stared back at me with his tongue lolling out, as if to say, "You threw it. You go get it." I’ve now spent the past 30 minutes fetching my own stick, hoping he'd join in. Nope. FML
Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of the door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
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Top comments
white16sox 19
Monkey see, monkey post on Facebook.
babegirlsweetiep 0
Try rolling again? Your dogs bound to get it sooner or later.
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Comments (119)
babegirlsweetiep 0
Try rolling again? Your dogs bound to get it sooner or later.
fanceh 10
Nick nack patty wack give a dog a bone. This old man came rolling hooome.
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
Actually you have to roll the dog and say the command at the same time.
DryHumor 4
Roll over Rover! Come on, you can do it. Look watch, this is how! Dog: My owner is an idiot.
bamagrl410 31
Most people I know would either think it's hilarious or at least a tiny bit cute. I think you need new friends if they're that concerned over a video of you rolling...
alival 12
Does nobody else roll on the floor??? Or am I the only other person! :)
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
Well at least you will be known throughout the interwebs as a roller... PS: It takes more than one time to teach your dog tricks, try getting it to do the trick then rewarding it with a treat when it does the trick!
nedwins97 10
chopper! Sick BALLS!
alyssamarie03 0
Well did u try to bribe it with dog treats to do stuff, that is what we do to our pit bull and now when we tell him to do stuff and he does it cuz he expects us to give him a treat....
MagicGiraffe 12
Do a barrel roll!
cookie_3008 4
The awkward moment when OP doesnt realize the dog was the one training him. O.o
nava1210 12
You can't teach a new dog, old tricks.. wait.
white16sox 19
Monkey see, monkey post on Facebook.
BayleeWasHere 1
HAHAHA!! GOOD ONE!!!
sugarandspice33 0
Can't teach an old dog new tricks
tellithowitis 13
It never said anything about an "old" dog
77777771 12
This owner can't teach any dog a new trick.
sugarandspice33 0
22- it's a saying, smart one
tellithowitis 13
Well that saying didn't go with the situation, now did it smart one?
DrDilllonReese 12
Actually it did... The dog still can't roll... Learn to read...
Zomg_Okay 27
But it doesn't says its an old dog, so it doesn't apply...
Life_sucks_13 6
Actually to burst anyone's bubble you can teach ANY dog ANY age a trick as long ad you know how to do it right!
lionlvr 9
Maybe if you tackle your sister and make her take it down and continue routine with your dog it'll help.
pulse18 2
He could train his dog to tackle his sister
lionlvr 9
OMG. TRUE.
starsfan_9 7
Haters gonna hate, don't sweat the small stuff
steve247 2
Potaters gonna potate
starsfan_9 7
Never heard that one before, I like it though
CowOven 7
Niggas gonna nig
ashtonkay 7
Ha I like this, so chill and simple (: sweet bruh.
lionlvr 9
Here are the steps, young cricket. 1. Tackle your sister and don't let her up until she promises to take it down 2. Go to pet smart and they can teach you stuff 3. Continue regular routine.
JEnglish89 1
Her sister taking it down doesn't effect the people who saw it and already think she's an idiot/ saved it.
lionlvr 9
Well yeah, but it just makes her look like an idiot, so then at least the brother has revenge.
intothecrypt 3
I do not see why it helped to post the same comment twice
vitaldisplay 0
U just made itself look soooo stupid smh.
evilplatypus 39
I guarantee you made yourself look worse.
fanceh 10
You have to be the epitome of stupidity if, while you are calling somebody else stupid, you misspell "you", use an improper form of the pronoun "yourself" and say "smh" all in the same sentence...
DryHumor 4
I approve fanceh's message.
fanceh 10
I approve your chest hair.
prismis 0
What does that even mean??
fanceh 10
Semi-masturbating hectically. It is a fad sweeping the black "hoods" of America and occurs when a dramatic or stupid event takes place, causing them to go into a masturbating-enfused tear.
vitaldisplay 0
U just made yourself look Sooo stupid smh.
ColtsDoug18 0
Seems to me like your sister is the bigger bitch in this situation.
21jason 9
What's the big deal that you were rolling? Could have been worse... Be like American pie and catch her doing something worse! Hopefully not with a vacuum though
Daederoth 10
Sounds like someone is speaking from experience. ^^
21jason 9
Ahahaha no..I'm guessing you've never seen American pie?
Pufferfish78 5
I don't think I've eaten an apple pie since I watched that movie lol
21jason 9
Ahahahah.. I herd vacuums give great blow jobs though..or something like that