Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML
Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
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Top comments
rattusrattus 19
You can walk and chew gum at the same time. You just can't walk, chew gum, and navigate around the dog at the same time.
Legendslayer222 26
Keep practicing, and maybe one day you will prove them all wrong!
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Comments (103)
rattusrattus 19
You can walk and chew gum at the same time. You just can't walk, chew gum, and navigate around the dog at the same time.
deBlobX 12
Correction- some people can't walk, chew fun and navigate around the dog at the same time
BabySparkle1 15
11- he said CAN'T.
Ins0mau 20
For everyone wondering why? It's a figure of speech! It's a common saying. Or else it used to be. People these days. :-p
Futacy 30
At least you can probably find Paraguay on the map.
sheethapins 13
11, What amused me more than your inability to read properly before commenting is the fact you tried correcting 1 with improper punctuation. Good job.
_Oblivion_ 12
38 That was a very bad idea mentioning that. Currently theres over a hundred comments there
ant1078 7
11- chew fun??! Seems like you've been chewing a lil too much on that fun stuff
airforce987 20
Totally read "face" as "taco" first time around. I rather like it better.
PuggieKid 22
Suite life of zack and cody!
tressie_fml 6
I love your profile picture.
habibiiiiiii 2
At least the dog was ok!
Legendslayer222 26
Keep practicing, and maybe one day you will prove them all wrong!
sheethapins 13
Then, and only then, will I finally be able to rule the world! Victory will be mine!
noelykins1 19
Or at least keep the dog out of the room.
capper44 18
Dont worry OP ... There - There !!
MichellinMan 20
I have no idea what you're trying to say.
clauudss 2
What?
Michaelsgirl04 9
I thumbed you up because I believe you're making a Sheldon Cooper reference. well done
Betz 10
Multi-tasking is a lost art.
illegallyblonde 3
I'm assuming your a blonde like myself , this kind of stuff happens to me too. :$
cosmosis 12
Being blonde doesnt really matter. Having an IQ of the same number as your shoe size makes all the difference.
CoconutOil 7
So, it is true what they say about people with big feet...
white16sox 19
22, you mean that they have big socks?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I know smart blondes and dumb brunettes. Every hair color has their fair share of idiots.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
When you are blonde, your IQ is actually measured between A and Z.
fireysaje 10
From your profile picture, I'm pretty sure you're not a natural blonde...
Askzombie 14
Now Op owes dad $20 bucks
With_Love929 3
*$200
sheethapins 13
*$2,000.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Just give Dad some gum instead. And then maybe watch him tumble...
MichellinMan 20
*$2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
DjeePee 25
So, walking and chewing gum at the same time is a challenge? Boy, I must be terrific talented then.
mikeofthunder 13
I can walk and eat a sandwich at the same time - my skills far surpass your own, my apprentice
a1f0sff 25
How about walking while drinking from a bottle of water?
CaptainDoorknob 7
I can walk and think at the same time. Believe me, it takes a LOT more skill and willpower than you think.
zinoxity 23
I think this FML is a joke. Who can't eat/chew/drink while walking? Like... Wtf?
zero91 4
becareful when you walk and chew same time .
SonOfAMitch 14
Thanks for that insightful comment.
ShyAnn29 15
No need to be rude, it's obvious what 8 meant.
CaptainDoorknob 7
32 - Really? Because trying to decipher that encoded message started to give me brain convulsions.
Whistlee 8
Hey, I took an exam in that once!
gc327072 31
Me too! Had to cram like crazy the night before!
CaptainDoorknob 7
At the College of Fail? I'm an alumni of that school myself.
emeraldisle 30
I bet your dog tripped you on purpose. What a jerk!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Your kitty told him to!! tbh, I'd do as it says too..
CaptainDoorknob 7
Seriously, the nerve.