Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be cute to teach my dog a new trick in which I throw and then he brings me back a rolled up newspaper. He disappeared after it, then successfully returned with what turned out to be my neighbor's dirty boxer shorts. Apparently, my dog has a different definition of "fetch." FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, the canine behaviour course I am studying released a new assignment in which I need to film myself teaching a dog a new trick. The only dog I have access to is my sister's neurotic, anxious Chihuahua who bites at any sudden noise. FML
Today, I taught my dog to "give me his paw" as a cute trick. Now he won’t stop doing it. Anytime I try to eat, work, or sit down, I’m ambushed by a very proud dog pawing at my leg for treats. FML
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Today, I tried to get a funny reaction from my dogs with a fart, like I saw in a YouTube video. I shat my pants and the dogs didn't even notice. FML
Today, I was excited to teach my new puppy how to fetch. I threw the stick, and he just stared at it, then stared back at me with his tongue lolling out, as if to say, "You threw it. You go get it." I’ve now spent the past 30 minutes fetching my own stick, hoping he'd join in. Nope. FML
Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of the door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
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Top comments
white16sox 19
Monkey see, monkey post on Facebook.
babegirlsweetiep 0
Try rolling again? Your dogs bound to get it sooner or later.
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Comments (119)
Iknoweverything 29
My cousin tried teaching her dog the same way... evidently she saw it done that way in the Sims, and thought it would work as well in real life. Seriously... roll your dog. Not yourself.
Zoranius 6
I bet the dog laughed at you..
whited666 0
(That is actually how you do it, show the action then say it) but anyway, depending on how old your sister is, this is why I am against little kids having phones and Facebook accounts.
RedPillSucks 33
I did that when training my dog to poop outside. The neighbors still get out their pitch forks when I walk the dog.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Ugh... I should stop commenting right after I wake up. I make unintelligent attempts at commenting and fail to detect jokes :/
bikini_bottom504 0
Ooh that's awkward
B1ueinferno 3
Dog:1 You:0
B1ueinferno 3
sorry double post
FlyingWhisps 5
If you're going to do something embarrassing, EVERYBODY knows DO NOT do it when your siblings are home. You live and learn, pal.
coboy 5
If you get your dog to lay down, you can place a treat behind it's front shoulder. When the dog turns it's head to receive the treat slide your hand ( and the treat ) up it's side towards it's back. You'r dog should follow your hand with it's head and start to roll to it's side. You can give your dog the treat at this point. Do this a couple of times repeating this technique while bringing the treat further around each time you do. You should also start to say roll over as you make progress. Be patient and your dog should start rolling In no time.
ZielZone 4
You can boast about how smart your dog is because he trained you to roll over!!! Congrats!!! Big Win for the dog! Although YOU are still an idiot.