Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "She used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML
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Top comments
wootwootimahoot 10
Hypocrite.
Grand_Cookie 21
Sack up and stop doing it for her. Two can play that game.
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Comments (219)
perdix 31
It's actually kind of your fault for allowing the routine to go from *********** to coitus while bypassing fellatio. Once you establish patterns, it's hard to change them.
B0nb0N09 12
Argh we don't ****** from penetrative sex the foreplay stuff is for women..
Squeaky_Tomato 14
We don't ****** from penetration? Since when???
sulitak 27
*some women G-Spot stimulation can cause some women to cum, others it won't as easily. (some people say it can't be done at all for some women but I'm not convinced of that fact)
Grauncho 27
Sure does leave a bad taste in your mouth.
DDalton 14
I'd say this is a blessing in disguise OP. Run while you can.
UnluckyGenius 21
"Maybe giving me a ******** someday" dang it OP man up, you don't suggest something like that so timidly, you have to be authoritative about being equals and such.
pwilly 8
Wow, that's rather interesting. I'm surprised you've stuck around :-P
jack_splat 11
Tell her 'it is more blessed to give than to recieve" Just like Christmas.
sammyjanette 17
Wouldn't that apply to OP though?
wdwillever 10
Hold out on her, or just tell her if she won't you will find someone who will. Complete bluff, but maybe it will put things into perspective.
graceinsheepwear 34
Tell her it's nature's candy.
hilde43 5
You are better off OP chicks like that are ******* crazy
dmattimeoj 12
sorry, but that would be a deal breaker for me if she were to refuse to budge from her stance about that. at this point in my life i´m looking for someone to be with for the rest of it, and i definitely could not imagine or accept the idea of never getting head again for the rest of my life. or spending it with someone so selfish for that matter. while what she enjoys is important, her wanting to do something for me, just because she knows i will enjoy it, is just as important. and it says a lot i think.