Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan, so I got her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML
Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
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Top comments
yourlifesucksyui 0
you couldn't tell?
perdix 31
She was probably disappointed that all you offered her were mini-condoms. Doesn't say much about what you're packing. Next time, visit Texas and bring her back some of our local condoms. You may not live up to that "everything's bigger in Texas" slogan, but it pays to advertise ;)
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Comments (182)
BassFace 0
if it was dark for nine months and then light for nine months, wouldn't that make the year eighteen months long? Never knew years were longer in Northern Canada. This was in response to 48. Fail.
OptimusTalent 0
lmao just because its dark for nine months and light for nine months doesn't mean the year is 18 months...you sir, are the fail.
BassFace 0
yeah, but they said it like it was 9 months of daylight and 9 months of total darkness D: but yeah, slight fail.
parte_perdiz 0
and yet they mentioned nothing about it being a whole year... read it again
OptimusTalent 0
It is nine months of total darkness and nine months of light...but why does that have to add up to one year lol
ghostiez 0
Who likes BOTDF I'm going to go see them in august in Ohio Woot
ohhmyjeez 0
weird that's what came on my ipod(:
danii1996 0
lol ... sounds embarrassing :p
Amy_1995 0
whose botdf?
ghostiez 0
#58 a band look up ima monster by blood on the dance floor aka BOTDF
Amy_1995 0
well #61 no affence but their not good BMTH are the best
ohhmyjeez 0
hahahaha whoaa that's the song that came onn
AlwaysAndNever 5
You-you don't know?! They are the most amazing band ever, Blood On The Dance Floor. Totally obsessed with Jayy and Dahvie
Richisme 0
Oh, the generosity >:O
vinay111 1
ohh, that sux well she might be interested in you
Lonnie23 0
how couldn't you tell that's a pretty random gift
RawrCo0kiies 3
Lol condoms from Asaia. Couldn't you tell it were condoms? Condoms have this hole that's made of rubberband. You could have realized it were condoms, dumbfuck !
yellowdaisy92 0
hahaha that really sucks...
perdix 31
She was probably disappointed that all you offered her were mini-condoms. Doesn't say much about what you're packing. Next time, visit Texas and bring her back some of our local condoms. You may not live up to that "everything's bigger in Texas" slogan, but it pays to advertise ;)
Raleigh_bruh 7
Aha, Perdix. I forgot you're from Texas too. :P
summerlesslove 0
thats hilarious