Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan, so I got her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML
Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
yourlifesucksyui 0
you couldn't tell?
perdix 31
She was probably disappointed that all you offered her were mini-condoms. Doesn't say much about what you're packing. Next time, visit Texas and bring her back some of our local condoms. You may not live up to that "everything's bigger in Texas" slogan, but it pays to advertise ;)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (182)
zombiekitten87 12
lol that's awkward but at least you could laugh about it
FuzzyPeachez 0
#10 I'm from Canada too (: I barely ever say eh... OP, you fail.
chopsuey_45 0
save em for the horny professor!
xodancer3651xo 0
I'd be so embarassed lol what did they say?
ghostiez 0
I've always wanted to visit Canada is it nice in Canada
Pilkie01 5
#31 -yes, very much so. The weather can be a bit extreme in the winter and summer though...especially in southern Canada. Freezing cold in the winter and absolutely sweltering in the summer =P
lalalalalalalala_fml 0
i live in canada! :D its awesome!
cptmorgan15 2
It only feels sweltering in the summer because you're so used to the cold in the winter.
lalalalalalalala_fml 0
nah. hate the cold in the winter
Devin149 0
LMFAO . as long as he get laid
summerlesslove 0
damn u got a sexy body
ghostiez 0
#37 I love the cold weather I hate hot weather I'm a polar bear lol I want to move to Moscow Russia or some where cold in Canada
roggers 0
#40, if you live the cold, you should move far north of Canada. it's dark for like 9 months, then light for 9 months straight. and also, it's freezing :p
ghostiez 0
#48 thanks I'll look at some house to buy
kroms001_fml 0
48 - perhaps I will move to Canada for their 18 month years... FAIL
sourgirl101 29
You failed- she's not talking about the year. She's talking about the months. Ex: I work ten days straight and than I get two days off. If you still don't get it let me know.
Tishawna_fml 0
wooow that's so werid
Silkie 0
Looove Bill!! C:
Arsonnist 3
Haha so did she like it?
BassFace 0
nice oooooooone. i wish i could have seen your teacher's face :')