Today, I saw a neglected potted palm tree on the front porch of what I thought was an empty house down the street from me. I took it home to nurse it back to health. When I got home from work, it was gone. Later, when taking a walk, I spotted the palm, right back on the porch I'd taken it from. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML
Today, after my neighbor asked me to water her plants while she was away, and I carefully followed her instructions for 6 days, she came home. She stared at the living room and asked why I'd watered the fake plants but forgotten the real ones on the balcony. FML
Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
Today, I was on the road, driving home. Before I'd headed out, I'd scored six amazing large house plants for free. My kids picked them up for me, and delivered them to my dining room. My husband put them out on the patio for me, in the sun, and burned them. Bye bye $100+ in free plants. FML
Today, I went to the mall and couldn't find a parking spot. After circling around for 20 minutes, I finally saw a shaded spot in the uncovered parking lot area under a tree. It turns out, I'd parked under a coconut tree. I could tell from the coconut planted into my hood. FML
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by cleaning the entire apartment while she was away. Three hours later, everything looked perfect. She came home, looked around, and immediately asked why her plant was missing. I had thrown it out because I thought it was dead. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I'd seen her cat. I helped her search the hallway, basement, and garden for 30 minutes. We finally found it sitting inside my apartment, where I had apparently been living with it for three days without noticing. FML
Today, I took the bus home after visiting a friend. Standing in front of my house, I realized that I had forgotten my keys. They were still in my car, which I had parked at my friend's place and forgotten. FML
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Top comments
ojosRojos 28
Yeah...maybe don’t take things based on your own assumption that they’re up for grabs
Sinshine 28
The very least you could have done was ring and check if there's really nobody living there... don't just take things.
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Comments (8)
bullsonyourface 20
reminds me of an episode of judge Judy where some chick stole Larry's David's (creater of Seinfeld) neglected plant and took better care of it. she ended up winning the case surprisingly
ojosRojos 28
Yeah...maybe don’t take things based on your own assumption that they’re up for grabs
RichardPencil 32
With fronds like that, who needs enemies? You're not rooting for me to plant tree puns here? I'll just leaf.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Leafing so soon? What a sap.
Oley 27
Depending on what part of the world you live, you could've been shot for trespassing
Sinshine 28
The very least you could have done was ring and check if there's really nobody living there... don't just take things.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Be lucky they didn't get you for theft.
protoskore 27
/| ALIENS |\