Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan, so I got her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML
Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
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Top comments
yourlifesucksyui 0
you couldn't tell?
perdix 31
She was probably disappointed that all you offered her were mini-condoms. Doesn't say much about what you're packing. Next time, visit Texas and bring her back some of our local condoms. You may not live up to that "everything's bigger in Texas" slogan, but it pays to advertise ;)
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Comments (182)
yourlifesucksyui 0
you couldn't tell?
duke_nukem_25299 0
LOL
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Better safe than sorry, eh?
Kassandra2011 0
Win.
ghostiez 0
#5 are you from Canada
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Nope. But my mummy is.(:
Pilkie01 5
#10 I'm from Canada. I have lived there my entire life and I have never said "Eh"
Thabb 0
17- Not possible
crimsongetsu 0
thas even beter !!
airborn54 0
haha I bet those were some tee niny condoms!!!!!!!!
SokDek 14
13 is hott
281go 4
41 ha that's classic.....
isaiaha11 2
#45
Hamsterzilla 0
lol u can be Canadian and never say "eh" that's like a stereotype saying every Canadian says "eh"
tackattackjoey 0
what're you talking aboot?
rudiznell 0
haha condoms from asia
Lonnie23 0
I never got tha "Canada eh?" joke
StopTheFuckinCar_fml 0
Sounds like a better gift than what you thought you were giving her, anyway.
kieran247 0
hey dan you are probably reading this ._.
eazyeeze 0
Is your professor hot? If so, put those condoms to use and earn an A
heyred 11
At least the gift was unique!
tengrich 1
it's totally possible... I'm from Taiwan and yes we do hav millions styles of condom disguise so that it's not awkward getting busted by conservative Asian parents. passport is just one of them... but YDI for not noticing=.= they sell it in a CONDOM store=.=
sabatical 0
I'm from Canada I say eh a lot.. but so do my American friends.
canadaxkid 0
Did Someone say Canada? >.>
imright24 0
Hoser.
BelleElle_fml 5
I'm Canadian too. Some of us say "eh" a lot and some of us never do. I only say it occasionally. But, all my American friends tease me a lot about it. XP
Dragons_corner 6
my question is she a hot professor? and Maybe she bow things she still looks good if she not.
hurleykid 0
I bet the condoms from Asia are tiny as shit. hahah
H8fulwanker 1
i bet you know this because you always buy them and it fits you well.
eazyeeze 0
The condoms are still to big for him. His dick gets lost inside the glove
OhWowFYLindeed 0
Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. :)
ATLBOI770 0
#86 sexi az canadian
ATLBOI770 0
#86 is a sexy az candian
liveitup1247 0
clearly op has never needed a condom so he doesnt know wat they are :)
excesssmile 0
haha im going to taiwan tomorrow!
pingpongpickle 8
did you find out after you gave them to her or before? hahah- 41
youngrob 0
I say eh all the time that doesn't mean I'm Canadian
coolsphinx65 2
he cant see the word condom cause he's anti-condom protective
coolsphinx65 2
hey don't be racist
tellmeastoryplz4 0
wow...! that was nice of u! haha :)
RainbowxxVeinsx 17
54- I loveeee your tunnels. I was gonna buy them ^.^
glorialaura21 8
don't be sillayyy wrap yo willayy
MarkerofMagic 0
#17. you just did.
the_pan1c 5
i lived in canada my entire life and constantly use eh and am never offended when people make fun of us for it because i couldnt careless and in my case, its true :)
spikelea 0
I would say eh anytime FOR YOU
KTpants 0
lol @ #120, thats funnyy
ibanez370 0
im from canada and i always say eh, however I'm from the east coast, so we tend to say "b'ye" alot more ;P
2an1a 4
#41...lmao..so true
tomtm7 0
haha i wonder wat they thought u meant by the gift
strawberryspacejam 11
No theyre from China. Dont just think asia is just china mr
UHGG 0
he couldn't tell cuz everything Asian is backwards so they probably looked funny!!!!
HazelBunny 0
should feel good about urself most useful present Eva given to a professor 6 PAC next time? ;)
wg4r5g5hh 4
very nice magazine
CrimsonWolf1294 0
it's because Canada is spelled: C "eh" N "eh" D "eh". Now you get it...
cincin75 0
伙计，你现在还好吗？没被打死吧？
RandaPanda093 0
haha I like that! :)
cmac86 24
yeah I was gonna say I'm from the deep south of the united states, and I think it's only natural people will say "eh" occasionally to try to invoke a response from someone. I think I'm right, eh?
guckylynn 19
It's like 160 said, it's a thing to ensure the person you're speaking to is listening. It's like telling you the speaker expects a response. I hear it a lot in upper Michigan.
babygirllxo 2
samee !
babygirllxo 2
haha yes we dooo ! :)
JayColt 0
89 - the genes you squire from your parents are what determines your size, not our race. Many people say that Asians have small penises because they need a race to pick on to make themselves feel better about themselves. They also assume they're small because Asians aren't usually that big in body size so they assume that's the also goes for penis size. Besides, if your partner really likes you for who you are they wouldn't care. By the way your probably small as a tic tac anyways you ****.
michaelscott69 0
#54, male tranny, or really hairy woman?
wellwood10 1
I'm Canadian and I say eh frequently and proudly!
Joey3000215 0
yep
Jimster1712 0
most of them probably have a bigger dick than you.
AlanS602 0
lmao that sucks
DarkHelmet 10
USE'em FOOL!!! You'd still be giving her a gift AND you could give it twice!!! it might even help your grade if you do good enough
the_flirtt 0
lol
Starhling 0
It could be the other way around. She be giving HIM a gift if he uses them, considering he couldn't tell that the so called "passport" was a condom?
rockera 0
fyl bu how did yuh not notice
the_flirtt 0
ya ydi for not noticing
Giorgio272 2
yeah ima have to agree. grow it long. dye it bright yellow and run around pretending your goku ffs.
Sooniztimmy 0
Haha#12.....Ya Know, just to let you know #7, oh and have a good day.
the_flirtt 0
I can't say anything back because u guys don't have pics soo ?
Giorgio272 2
I believe my statement is more a compliment if anything. but seriously. strip down to your undies. pit on the goku ghetto suit. dye your hair bright blonde but have a brown wig over the top and go super sayen on peoples asses. I'd pay to see that.
the_flirtt 0
it wasn't suppose to be towards u I accidentally said guys my bad
Giorgio272 2
ah I see goku. well then no hard feelings. one day I hope to attain goku like hair. if only I had any.
ohsnapp823 0
ya how did you not notice? I mean unless you've never seen condoms before..which is pretty sad:/ hahaha I think 7 has nice hair..so people, back off, I'm sure your hair sucks.
drpepperrules 0
oô
te_amo_ily 0
i think 7 has nice hair , whats wrong with. it ?
shibainu519 0
congradulations!! u fail!!
xxgallardolp560 5
congratulation*
tackattackjoey 0
congratulations*
Arsonnist 3
s*
iamchuck 0
Not an FML if she want to thank you by letting you use them on her, unless she is really old or fat, then double FYL.
Sooniztimmy 0
Whats wring with old and fat. Racist. Lol
karro 1
lol....
lovely_asian 0
I'm pretty sure ur proffesor appreciated your gift :)
the_flirtt 0
thnx :)
sourgirl101 29
Tell him that passport will take him "Around the World"!
Pilkie01 5
omg.. I moderated this one... first one that I've ever noticed... lolx I'm such a nerd That sucks for you =
F_MY_L1FE 0
he/she probably needs it. :)
ccccjim 0
HAHAHAHAHA