Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan, so I got her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML
Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
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Top comments
yourlifesucksyui 0
you couldn't tell?
perdix 31
She was probably disappointed that all you offered her were mini-condoms. Doesn't say much about what you're packing. Next time, visit Texas and bring her back some of our local condoms. You may not live up to that "everything's bigger in Texas" slogan, but it pays to advertise ;)
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Comments (182)
carage 3
whoa~ um your Chinese studies prof doesn't happen to be from the mainland, right? If she is, you might be in some deep shit, not just for the condoms. Giving a mainlander anything that resembles a ROC/Taiwan passport?? Very very risky move in my book.
theterm 0
hahahaha so funny I saw those same condoms in the store yesterday!!!! there were also Taiwan Travel Permit and a United States of Condoms versions!! hahaha
pweetybby 0
haha that would be awkward
GHosTkiLla 0
LMFAO!!
femto_fml 0
why would you get her a resent from Taiwan if she is a Chinese studies prof? Because all Asians look the same?
kekeshayeshaye 4
she shoould use them. we don't need anymore Chinese kids.
ArielTheMermaid 17
maybe I'm just clueless but why is you're Chinese studies teacher getting a gift from taiwan?
Suaria 38
When China became communist in 1949, the government left China and went to Taiwan. Taiwan was always apart of China but then formed their own country. The Taiwanese like to say they are the Republic of China hence the passport. The Republic of China was the government before China became the People's Republic of China. The People's Republic views Taiwan as a state of theirs. So depending on which perspective you look at it, Taiwan is either a state or a country. It is very similar to Hong Kong.
kitkat98_fml 0
XD that's so funny haha dude. you couldn't tell? haha what was your professors reaction lol
birdfreak 24
2 qs: a)did she use them? and b)did you get some?
claiiire_fml 17
Maybe she has a thing for you, OP, and she didn't find it awkward. Or maybe she doesn't and was incredibly creeped out. 50/50 chance of it not being awkward.