Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a "nice try." FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
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Top comments
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.
akallaan 7
So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?
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Comments (160)
DalPozzo13 10
No shit.
tylerryder 4
Tryout for teams, not hard to do, your bound to make one =/ (Chess Team doesn't count) -_-
japtch 15
You feel the need to change to compensate for what someone (whose opinion shouldn't matter) said? You don't have to be on a team to be an awesome person. Plus, Chess is definitely a team. It may not be a sport, in some peoples eyes, but it is most definitely a team.
robertlovespi 3
Typical Calgary...
Andrewgfffff 0
Why should he? People don't need to be on a team to feel good. Most people in my soccer team are douches.
tylerryder 4
Typical Edmonton...
Cshaw6215 5
Seriously? What is this, Happy Days? Grease? -_-
chillycold 2
Did you also learn that Jock is an American term. Maybe stop watching so much tv and stand up for yourself using a positive and non-confrontational method? Maybe just maybe I dont know.
ladyLALAA 29
Maybe, just maybe, countries pick up slang from each other. Never picked up a saying from someone? Don't be such a jock!
Chad_the_Brony 0
Mate, in Australia, we do NOT have 'jocks'. We have Lebs, Lads, ***** and abo's. There are no jocks in our society.
Ashley91129 6
I thought that was a given.
KnucklesDeep 5
A jock who resorts to violence when someone stands up to him. I'm stunned.
DingoCJ 15
Someone who shoots their mouth off and can't back it up? Wow, your smart. You had it coming..
doubleohseven 0
Common sense. Jocks have a limited set of knowledge and one of their only ways to retaliate is to chase you like a lion does a wounded, nerdy-*ss gazelle like you or me.
sprinklez0601 8
yep I knew one back in sixth grade and I had to run every day or she would catch me and choke me until her friends told her to stop when they realized that I could die any second
DocBastard 40
My solution in grade school was to fight back, and it worked. Then again, this was back when we walked 20 miles to school in 3 feet of snow, uphill, both ways...
Katastrophe101 8
With lard sandwiches in your back pocket to keep you warm?
nickkingcool 0
keep on commenting! :)
JayeMei13 0
I'd take being called a 'Nerd' as a compliment. I'd rather be a nerd than a dipshit jock. As for the jock who decided to bully you, he was probably too ridiculously stupid to understand any of the witty comeback. Just think he'll be asking you one day if you'd like fries with that.