Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML
Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
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Top comments
illmatic2 16
I'd go piss outside or something.
DocBastard 40
And that's why it's great to be a man - The outside world is our urinal.
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Comments (154)
illmatic2 16
I'd go piss outside or something.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well if you look at Op's name I think they already did :P
HKCgrimmjow 15
Man if you have neighbors then pissing outside becomes a task only ninjas can complete, unless you wave it like you just don't care :P
Delta2Almanac 7
unless you're in Australia.
bengermin 5
Again, SO many FML's could be prevented if people still wore diapers.
Ins0mau 20
16 - Why would Australia be any different? (An Australian)
Mahtari 19
You'll get eaten by spiders.
nop200 3
Find a tree, they are much better than bushes.
Annis_x3 7
5- It's funny though, because when OP submitted the FML, the username is WentInABush, while her bladder is still on the verge of bursting. Haha x)
imavelociraptor 6
12- wave what exactly? OP is a girl...
agsilver 14
Turn the lights off and whizz out the window. It's faster.
drewcat21 0
When I was 7 my family moved from the middle of nowhere to in the middle of town. U was used to being able to pee outside and not having to run inside(and track up the house and such) first week there my parents walked out to me peeing off the front porch as traffic drove by.
xx000o 27
Piss in the kitchen sink, ju
qwillis98 20
Look at gender, OP is a girl and maybe she lives in the city, just sayin.
Scbomb 4
That's exactly what I would've done. Then I would make an appointment with a therapist
ninja8537 10
Your life sucks big time, OP D:
Feared 9
Not if you are a trouble maker like me. If they thought they were home alone I would have knocked loudly on the bathroom door like a hundred times. Then I would leave the house (since they already think im gone) so that they think someone broke in.
Welshite 40
I don't think burglars knock annoyingly waiting for someone to open the door.
Aero25 15
40 - True, but ghosts on the other hand... I think that's still a pretty good prank idea!
loloalltheway 23
Scared for life.
AlexM42 5
Ummm just a guess here but I think you meant "scarred"... Unless you were informing everyone that you have acute paranoia
loloalltheway 23
Yes I meant that sorry everyone ...
mpsteve137 15
Since you already know you're really good at being quiet, why not sneak onto the toilet? Or the loo
ksuth 25
If you heard your parents having sex in the shower would you go into the bathroom with them to piss? It's bad enough just hearing it.
mpsteve137 15
Of course I would. Don't people normally do that?
LiterOfCola 16
4 doesn't need the bathroom! They just piss on power 96.1...
LollipopDragon 4
4- Oh god. Bad mental image.
fml121785 14
Too bad OP's parents aren't quite like her. :/
Delta2Almanac 7
I'm gonna go on a hunch and say he went in a bush...
empath 20
She*
Delta2Almanac 7
my apologies. Saw it was a she after the comment was posted. Can't edit on my phone app :/ maybe the fml community will have mercy upon me this one day.
txbelle210 5
I don't think that a possibility. How dare you make such a horrendous mistake! :)
PhishloverA 14
Actually yes you can #15
lilhellian 27
90 You can't not on our copy of it alteast.
nado13579 12
15- You can edit it for the first two minutes or so that your comment is posted.
qwillis98 20
Depends on your phone android can't (as he stated in the comment(#15))
DocBastard 40
And that's why it's great to be a man - The outside world is our urinal.
allie2590 31
Except op is not a man.
Delta2Almanac 7
However, DocBastard IS a man. Therefore his statement is valid.
ColdplaySucks 18
7 was referring to himself (and perhaps all the other males reading this).
Inheritance 10
OP should be glad he didn't walk in on them.
illmatic2 16
What makes you so sure he's a dude?
Inheritance 10
Meant she my bad
txbelle210 5
This is extremely true... my bf pees outside even when their is a toilet less than 20 feet away inside the house :|
Beeftinkle 13
Rare to see their instead of there mistakes, good job.
bfsd42 20
On an interesting side note, if you get caught peeing in public here in California, you have to register as a sex offender. Crazy but true.
UltimateGIRness 16
Where I live even a girl can go outside. We have no neighbors and if we're home alone we just go. Most girls around here are bush broke( for those with dirty minds it means that we will squat behind a bush and pee)
lilhellian 27
106 Your bio sounds a lot like a friend of mine. She's nucking futs.
SexyQueen0905 24
Judging by your username, I guess it's not a problem anymore. But, ugh that's disturbing OP, I'd warn them to really check the house before they do that again.
laurenlovesjb 20
That would be an awkward conversation.
missalkali 8
"guys, check more thoroughly next time you get it on. I'm now scarred for life" -next time- "hey dad, what do you need" "oh, nothing son, just checking if you were home so me and mom can do it good. she likes it hard and deep you know" yeah, awkward
holyshitbatman 20
why should they check THEIR house before having sex? OP needs to realize that people have sex. it's a part of human nature. sucks he was stuck with a full bladder, but he could have gone outside
FML_Master2133 6
115 - who wants to see or hear their parents having sex? I don't! It's just a matter of respect. And *she.
Yellow_Fish79 11
Just walk in and pee. Thatd probably teach them not to assume stuff before actually checking. lol
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Even if it would "teach them a lesson," I don't think many people would be too thrilled about willingly walking in and catching their parents having sex...
Metallica36176 16
Not to mention its THEIR house.
frecktured 14
I'm sorry for OP cos his house doesn't have a second toilet.
laden_swallow09 35
*her
catanita 18
Go outside or if you were a man you could always use a bottle
gc327072 31
Also, she might get a spider in her ass.